I unlock the stall, stepping out to find him standing there, looking deeply uncomfortable to be in the women's restroom but determined nonetheless.
"Ruby's fine," he says immediately. "She's finishing her croissant. I told her you weren't feeling well, and I wanted to check on you."
"I'm fine." The lie is automatic, unconvincing.
"You're crying."
"I'm not—" But I am. I touch my face and my fingers come away wet. "Okay, yes. I'm crying."
Cade takes a step closer, and I see him war with himself: wanting to comfort me but not sure if he's allowed, if we're past that, if touching me would be crossing a line we can't uncross.
"This is a lot," he says finally. "For both of us. You don't have to pretend it's not."
"I don't have the right to fall apart." The words burst out of me, raw and honest. "I did this. I made this choice. I don't get to be overwhelmed or scared or—" My voice breaks. "I don't get to need comfort from you when I'm the one who hurt you."
"Sierra…"
"She's so happy, Cade." I'm really crying now, seven years of guilt and fear and loneliness pouring out. "She's so happy to meet you, and you're being so good with her, and all I can think about is how I stole this from you. Seven years. I can't give those back. I can't fix this."
"No," he says quietly. "You can't."
The words hurt, even though they're true. Especially because they're true.
"But," he continues, and his hand comes up, hovering near my shoulder before finally, gently, making contact. "We can move forward. We can figure out what comes next. Together this time."
I look up at him through my tears, and his blue eyes—Ruby's eyes—are softer than they were in the conference room. Still hurt, still processing, but softer.
"I'm so sorry," I whisper. "I'm so, so sorry."
"I know." His thumb moves in a small circle on my shoulder, a gesture so familiar it makes my heart ache. "I know you are. And I'm angry, hurt, and confused as hell. But Ruby… She's amazing, Sierra. And you did that. You raised an amazing kid all on your own."
"Not all on my own. My parents helped. And the guys from the old station, they—"
"But mostly you." His hand drops away, and I immediately miss the warmth of it. "So yeah, I'm angry. But I'm also… I'm grateful. That you did such a good job. That she's happy and healthy and fearless."
"She gets the fearless from you," I say again, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand.
"Maybe." A small smile tugs at his mouth. "Come on. Ruby's probably wondering if we both fell in."
I follow him out of the restroom, fully aware that we just had a deeply personal conversation in a café bathroom and that I probably look like a disaster.
But when we get back to the table, Ruby just looks up and smiles, chocolate around her mouth and joy in her eyes.
"Better?" she asks me, and I nod.
"Better."
"Good. Because Dad was just telling me about the time, he rescued a cat from a tree, and it scratched him so bad that he needed stitches."
Dad. She keeps calling him dad so easily, like the word has been waiting her whole life to be used.
And maybe it has.
Maybe we both have.
Chapter 5 - Cade
I can't stop watching them.
