What if.
What if they lived here, in Blackwater Falls? What if Ruby went to school here, played soccer or baseball on the local team, grew up knowing my crew as her extended family? What if I could be there for her games and parent-teacher conferences and all the mundane, beautiful moments that make up a childhood?
What if I could have this life, this family, for real?
But then reality crashes back in. They have a life three hours away. Sierra has a job (I assume, we haven't gotten to that yet), Ruby has school and friends and grandparents and a whole world that doesn't include me. I can't just ask them to uproot everything.
Can I?
Or maybe, and this thought makes me anxious, maybe I could move back. Return to the place I ran from eight years ago, face the demons I've been avoiding, try to build a life in the shadow of the warehouse fire that nearly destroyed me.
For Ruby. For the chance to be her father every day, not just on weekends and holidays.
Could I do that? Could I leave Dallas and the crew, the life I've built here, the safety of a place with no reminders? Could I walk past those buildings every day, see the memorials, face the families of the people I couldn't save?
For Ruby, maybe I could.
Sierra checks her watch and I tense, waiting for her to say they need to leave, that they have a long drive ahead of them. But instead, she looks at Ruby.
"You getting tired, sweetheart?"
Ruby shakes her head vehemently, even though I can see the exhaustion creeping in around her eyes. It's been a big day, emotionally intense for a seven-year-old. "I'm not tired."
"Uh-huh." Sierra's smile is knowing. "Well, we should probably head to the Inn soon. Get checked in, settled."
My head snaps up. "Inn?"
"Yeah." Sierra fidgets with her mug. "We're staying the weekend. I booked a room at… I think it's called the Blackwater Inn? The one on Main Street. We're leaving Monday morning."
They're staying. They're not leaving today. I have the whole weekend.
Three days. Three days to spend with Ruby, to get to know her, to start figuring out how to be her father. Three days to talk to Sierra about logistics, about what comes next, about whether there's any possible way to make this work without someone having to completely uproot their life.
Three days to figure out if I could move back. If I could face my past for the chance at a future with my daughter.
"The Blackwater Inn is nice," I manage, my voice rough. "Owner is good people. She has been running it for about fifteen years. Makes breakfast every morning."
"Oh." Sierra looks slightly embarrassed. "I didn't know about the breakfast. I just… I saw it online and it looked decent."
"It is decent. More than decent." I'm already planning in my head: what I can show them, where I can take Ruby, how I can make these three days count. "I'm off this weekend. I could… If you want, I could show you around Blackwater Falls tomorrow. Both of you."
Ruby's entire face lights up. "Really? Like a tour?"
"Exactly like a tour." Ideas are already forming. "There's a park with a playground. And a trail that goes up to a waterfall. It's an easy hike, good for kids. And there's an ice cream place that has like thirty flavors."
"Thirty!" Ruby's bouncing in her seat now. "Mom, can we? Please?"
Sierra's eyes meet mine over Ruby's head, and there's something there, gratitude, maybe, or hope. "If your dad wants to spend his day off with us, then yes. We can."
"I want to." The words come easily, truthfully. "I want to spend the whole weekend with you. Both of you. If that's okay."
"It's more than okay," Sierra says softly.
My phone buzzes again, three times in rapid succession. I pull it out with an apologetic look and see a string of texts from Dallas.
**Dallas: You good?**
**Dallas: The guys are worried. Also nosy. Mostly nosy.**
