"I could never look at her and feel nothing," he says finally. "She's—" He stops, swallows hard. "She looks like—"
"You. She looks like you." I smile despite everything. "Acts like you too. Stubborn, fearless, drives me crazy at least three times a day with stunts that make my heart stop."
That almost-smile is back. "Sounds familiar."
"You have no idea." I brush a strand of hair behind my ear, suddenly exhausted. The adrenaline that got me through the drive and into this building is fading, leaving behind bone-deep weariness. "She wants to be a firefighter. Or a vet. She can't decide."
"Smart kid."
"She is. Smarter than both of us combined." I risk looking directly at him. "She's amazing, Cade. And I know I took eight years from you. I know I can't give those back. But if you want, if you're willing, I'd like you to know her. I'd like her to know you."
"That's why you came."
"That's why I came."
He's quiet for a long moment, his eyes moving between Ruby and me. I can see him thinking, processing, probably running through a thousand different scenarios and outcomes.
Finally, he looks at Ruby directly. "Hey, Ruby?"
She sits up straighter. "Yeah?"
"You like hot chocolate?"
Her face lights up. "I love hot chocolate!"
"There's a new place two blocks from here that opened a few weeks ago and makes the best hot chocolate in Blackwater Falls. Probably the best in the whole state." He glances at me, and there's a question in his eyes. Permission. "What do you say we go get some? The three of us. We can talk. Get to know each other."
Ruby looks at me, practically vibrating with excitement. "Can we, Mom? Please?"
I nod, not trusting my voice. Cade is trying. He's angry and hurt and probably a dozen other emotions I can't name, but he's trying. For Ruby. Maybe for me too, though I don't let myself hope for that.
"Okay." Cade runs a hand through his hair, and I notice for the first time how tired he looks. Dark circles under his eyes, lines of stress around his mouth. "Let me get cleaned up. I smell like smoke and probably look like I've been through hell."
"You kind of have," I say without thinking. "Maggie said you were on a call?"
"Apartment fire. Everyone got out." He says it like a mantra, like those three words are the only ones that matter. "I'll be quick. Five minutes."
He's at the door when Ruby calls out, "Dad?"
He freezes, his hand on the doorknob. The word Dad seems to catch him off guard, and I watch his shoulders tense.
Slowly, he turns back. "Yeah?"
"I'm glad I finally got to meet you." Ruby's smile is genuine, open, without any of the complications that we adults carry. "Mom's told me good things."
Cade's eyes find mine, and there's so much in them: surprise, pain, gratitude, and that devastating hint of the man I used to know before the fire took him from me.
"I'm glad too, Ruby." His voice is rough. "I'll be right back."
He leaves, and I hear the immediate explosion of voices in the hallway as his crew descends on him. I can't make out the words, but the tone is clear: shock, questions, probably some jokes to cut the tension.
Ruby slides off her chair and comes to stand next to me, leaning against my side. "He seems nice."
"He is nice." I wrap my arm around her, pulling her close. "He's a good man, baby. I promise."
"He looks sad."
Kids. They see everything you try to hide.
