Instead, they fill me with peace. A sense of rightness.
Lucky wags her tail at my feet, oblivious to my ruminations.
I’m leaning against a fence post, resting my shoulder, when Rafe pulls up alongside me on his horse. Lucky barks once in greeting and he swings down. After tying Cisco up to a fence post, he gives Lucky an absent belly rub while he squints out at the film crew from under the brim of his Stetson.
He stands there a moment taking it all in: the trucks, the cables, the crew members in their city clothes picking their way across the frozen ground looking deeply uncertain about the mud situation.
Our normally placid foreman looks annoyed.
“They messing with the normal order of operations?” I guess.
“I wouldn’t let them mess it up. But they do get in the way.” He sighs. “Daryl and his love forRough Justice.”
I almost snort. “Is that really what that show is called?”
“Yup.”
I follow his gaze across the field to where Dad is leaning over a monitor with the director, gesturing enthusiastically at something on screen.
“How long are they here?” I ask.
“Three more days.” He looks back down at Lucky and frowns. He starts pressing on her belly in careful examination while she looks up at him adoringly, tongue hanging out.
I’m instantly alert to the careful, clinical way he’s palpating her stomach.
“What’s wrong?” I say tightly.
My mind flashes to a memory of the oncologist at my mother’s bedside, pressing on her stomach the same way. Back then, he was feeling the tumors that spread to her liver.
I remember the look in Mom’s green eyes as he spoke in that gentle tone doctors use when they have to tell their patient that the cancer is spreading. That there’s very little left to be done.
I remember Mom didn’t look sad or scared when he spoke.
She lookedangry.
She told me once she wasn’t ready to leave this patch of earth, this brief stretch of time that she got with all of us. That she was mad as hell at the Lord for making it so short.
The anger passed. So did she. Peacefully, in the end.
I never made my peace with it, though.
My teeth clench together and I breathe through the surge of adrenaline and anxiety.
Lila will be devastated if anything happens to Lucky.
“Nothing’s wrong,” Rafe says, pulling me back to the present. He straightens up. Gives me a sidelong look. “But your dog’s going to have puppies.”
Lucky wags her tail like she’s been waiting for someone to finally bring it up.
I stare at the dog. I think about Lila, crouching down to tie the tutu around Lucky’s waist on Halloween, frowning.She’s gaining weight. Are we feeding her too much?
We weren’t feeding her too much.
“My wife is going to lose her mind,” I say, pinching the bridge of my nose. I look up at him wearily. “Don’t suppose you’re in the market for a puppy?”
Something that might be a smile crosses Rafe’s face. “Could be.”
Both of us are so absorbed in the Lucky development that we don’t notice the actresses until they’re almost on top of us. A blonde and a brunette, picking their way across the frozen ground in boots that were not designed for actual ranch use. I vaguely recognize them. Famous, probably. I have no idea from what.
