Somewhere in my caveman brain there are fireworks going off, grey matter permanently rearranging itself, my entire sense of self being turned inside out.
“You’re pregnant?” I manage.
Her beautiful brown eyes stare up at me, a little anxious now. “I can’t tell if that’s a happy question or a scared one.”
I stare again at the little bean on the ultrasound picture. Then my wife’s stomach. Then back again.
And then I’m sweeping her off her feet, spinning her in a circle as I laugh with my whole chest. “Holy fucking shit, sweetheart. You’re pregnant.”
Our lips meet in deep, intense kiss. When we pull back, I put my hands on her belly. “Our baby. You’re going to be a mom. I’m gonna be a dad.”
“That’s how it usually works,” she says, grinning. “You’re really happy about this? I know we’ve talked about having kids, but this happened fast.”
“Happy isn’t a strong enough word,” I say. “I’m… damn it, I don’t have the words. This is beyond words.”
I kiss her again, hoping that my body will say everything my brain can’t manage to put together.
“I can’t believe it,” I say. I cup her cheek with my hand. “Areyouhappy?”
“I don’t think it’s possible to be happier than I am now,” shesays. “I’ve wanted this so badly and now it’s here, and I’m also… I’m nervous. Overwhelmed.” She laughs breathlessly. “And of course I just took on the biggest commission of my career. A full boutique hotel renovation, no less.”
“You can cancel the contract,” I tell her gently, already knowing what her response will be.
Those eyes flash fiercely. “No way!” But worry creeps into her expression. “Slade. Twelve floors. I’m going to be on the job site constantly. I’m going to be exhausted. I’m going to be?—”
“Delegating,” I say.
She blinks.
“Sarah co-leads,” I say. “You supervise from a chair. Hire more staff. You eat lunch every single day, not just when you remember.” I hold up a finger for each item. “You’re not on your feet more than a few hours at a stretch. You call me if anything feels off.” I kiss her softly. “And if I find out you’ve been climbing ladders…”
“You’ll what?” she says, crossing her arms, fighting a smile.
“I’ll come down there and carry you away myself.”
She grins up at me. “I know you mean that literally, too.”
“Yup.” I pull her in close and she leans her forehead against my chest.My wife,I think, my heart swelling.And now the mother of my child.
“I don’t want to give up the commission,” she says in a small voice.
“And you shouldn’t. I’m just letting you know I’ll take care of you while you take over the world.” I press my lips to the top of her head. “You can have a baby and have a career. And I’ll be by your side every step of the way, supporting you and cheering you on and being there in every way you need me.” I slide my hand over her belly. “In every way this little bean needs his or her daddy too.”
She shakes her head, eyes wide. “I can’t believe there’s a tiny person inside me. I want to do right by them.”
“You will. You’re going to be an amazing mother.”
A shy smile. “And you’re going to be an incredible dad. I hope the baby gets your green eyes.”
“I hope they get your brown eyes.”
Her eyebrows shoot up. “Really? My mother always told me they were my worst feature. Common. Like dirt.”
“Lila, your mother is jealous as hell of you. You can’t take anything she says at face value.” My fingertips skim over her cheekbones as I look into those eyes I love so much. “Let me tell you something about my favorite color. Brown is beautiful. It’s warmth and sweetness and all my favorite things.”
I smile. “I look in your eyes and the color reminds me of whiskey in the sunlight. It’s the sweetness you’ve brought into my life, the maple syrup and chocolate you bake with. It’s luxury and beauty, like those gemstones you wear, tigers eye and smoky quartz. It’s striking, like the mountains in autumn, and it’s comfort, like honeyed tea my mom used to make. Your eyes make me think of only the best things. Of home.”
Those eyes blink up at me now. “Jeez, Slade,” she whispers. “I think we can officially say you’re good with words.”
