Then I think about how much I would want all of that to happen again. Tomorrow. The day after.
Every day for the rest of my life.
And that last thought is exactly why I lay back on the pillow and stare at the tent ceiling.
I made a promise. I’m keeping it, for both our sakes’.
Even if it just about kills me.
“You should know,” I tell her, before I close my eyes, “you’ve always got the Rhodes family now.”
Chapter 21
Dreams
LILA
Despite the autumnal chill in the air, I wake up warm. Utterly, profoundly, deliciously warm in a way that takes me a moment to understand.
Outside a bird is calling somewhere in the pine trees. The wood stove went out during the night but despite the chilly air I’m not cold at all, because there’s a comforting weight draped over my waist and delicious heat all along my backside.
I soon realize the reason for that delicious heat.
It’s because there’s six feet five inches of sleeping cowboy wrapped around me, holding me against him as he spoons me.
Slade is still asleep. I can tell by the steady rise and fall of his chest, his even breathing.
We must have rolled over into each other in the middle of the night, because we definitely started it on opposite sides of the bed, and now we’re all entwined in each other. I know he wouldn’t have done it deliberately. He’s been far too controlled and careful with me to ever end up like this consciously.
His arm is heavy and warm across my ribs. His chest rises and falls against my back. His legs are tangled through mine, his thighs solid and warm against the backs of my own, the hair on his legs just a little scratchy, but in a good way.
My husband is holding me in his sleep and it’s the best I’ve felt in as long as I can remember.
I need to get out of this bed before I do something foolish, like decide I want to stay here forever.
I need to move.
In a minute, though.
The sad truth is that I’ve wanted to be held like this my whole life. Held like I’m worth holding onto. Like my presence is a comfort and a pleasure rather than an inconvenience.
I just want to enjoy it for a second, even if I know it’s not real.
Slade has boundaries and I’ll respect them.
Just as soon as I get out from underneath him.
I try a careful shoulder roll.
His arm tightens around my waist and pulls me closer. His wedding ring glints in the pale morning light filtering through the canvas.
I try the other direction. Shifting my hips forward, away from him.
His grip tightens again and he makes a sound that’s almost a growl as I try to wriggle away from him.
Well then. Apparently this man gets very possessive in his sleep.
I try the only remaining choice I have to get out from his embrace and push my butt back against him instead.
