His biceps bulged as he crossed them over his chest while he scowled at me and dropped his voice.
“No, I can’t. I’m not your messenger boy and we aren’t in high school passing notes to each other. When you gave me his post-op follow up last week, I thought it was out of courtesy because you stole his surgery from me, but it’s more than that, isn’t it Mol?” He didn’t wait for an answer, which was good, because I wasn’t planning to give him one. “He spent the entire week asking for you, and now he’s refusing to leave until he sees you. I don’t know what’s going on, though I’m willing to bet this is why you’ve been trawling for surgeries like a junkie. But I’m not getting in the middle of it, so get your shit together.Go and see him.”
His glare intensified in a way that I couldn’t be bothered arguing with. I was going to have to face this sooner or later. I couldn’t avoid it forever, no matter how much I wanted to.
I took a deep breath trying to calm my racing heart. “Okay. Can you just finish this round for me please, and then I’ll be back.”
He rolled his eyes. “Fine. But you owe me.”
He turned to walk back into the room and I followed, popping my head around the door. “Ace, I apologize, I’ve been called away. Doctor Reyes will complete the rest of your review.”
“As long as you come and see me later,” he replied with a wink, which earned me another scowl from Hunter.
“Of course I will.”
I walked down the hall, buying myself time, breathing in and out, each one measured and precise, trying to slow my racing heart with the counting down technique I used before my surgeries. I needed to be calm, I needed him to not see how affected I was, I needed him to still be my friend.
Felix was sitting up on the examination bed in Hunter’s office, his leg stretched out in front of him, still in the brace. He hadn’t shaved since the accident and his facial hair was starting to resemble his playoff beard, thick and luscious, and doing nothing to hide the chiseled jaw line or razor-sharp cheekbones. He looked up as I closed the door behind me, his eyebrow rising in silent question at my recent behavior. He watched as I moved to lean on the side of Hunter’s desk, trying not to look directly at him for fear my emotions might burst into flames.
“Hello, Molly.”
I bit down on the inside of my cheek. “Hello.”
His glare matched the one Hunter had given me, although this felt a hundred times worse. “Do you always ignore all your patients? Because I’ve got to say, this is shitty follow up care. And just so you know I’m giving you a one star in the hospital stay comment form. I would have given you zero stars, but you did fix my leg.”
Dammit.
The plan I walked in with not to smile, not to let him charm me, crashed and burned, because Felix never failed to raise a smile, like it was his life’s work to make me laugh, even when I didn’t deserve it.
His shoulders dropped and he reached his hand out toward me. “Molly, please stop being pissy with me. I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry for what I did, but in my defense, I was up to my eyeballs in pain meds. But please stop being mad at me, I can’t take it any longer.”
I frowned, my eyes creasing up in confusion at this turn of events, at his words. He thinks I’m mad at him?
I’m not mad at him.
I’m mad at myself. I know he had no clue what he was doing.
“Felix…”
“Please, Mol. I’m really, truly sorry,” he was practically begging, his voice laced with a sadness that made me ache in my core.
I sighed, deep and heavy, staring at him. “I’m not mad at you.”
“You’re not?”
“No.”
“Then why won’t you reply to my messages? Why won’t you speak to me? Why didn’t you come and see me last week? I’ve fucking missed you, Mol.”
I didn’t want to tell him that I’d missed him too, because I didn’t think I could stop if I started. I pulled down on my stethoscope and briefly wondered how loud my heart would sound right now if I held it against my chest, because it felt like it was hammering against my sternum so hard it might crack.
“Do you remember what you said?”
He stared blankly before he shook his head. “No, what did I say?”
“That you’d always wondered what my lips would feel like.”
His eyes flared in surprise, but not denial, like his secret had been discovered.
