Oh.
“Molly, please. You know I’ve not told Cooper, I wanted to tell him first. Please go and change. I’m begging you.” I would get on my knees if she wanted me to, although on second thoughts, that would make things a million times worse. “I can’t handle you looking like this tonight.”
“What do I look like, Lex?” She was practically purring, fully aware of the torture she was subjecting me to.
“Like a goddess.” I growled.
“Thank you, but I’m not changing. So if you can’t handle it, you can stay here and wait until you decide what you want to do.” She thumbed behind her, her mouth crooking as she did. “And I’ll be with everyone else, enjoying myself in my dress.”
She lifted up on her tiptoes, brushing her lips to mine, then turned and walked away, sashaying her hips so her dress flaredand I swear I caught a flash of her ass cheek as she rounded the corner out of my sight. I bent over double, groaning through the stabbing pains I could feel in my chest. Maybe I really was having a heart attack.
“What are you doing?”
I lifted my head to find Freddie peering down at me from the middle of the stairs, and stood up. “Nothing. I’m good.”
“Are you sure? Because it seems like you’re having some kind of meltdown.”
I nodded my head. “No, I’m good, I just really need to talk to Cooper.”
Her eyes narrowed while she looked me over. “Well, when you do, he’ll listen. He’ll be okay.”
Before I had the chance to ask what she meant, she ran up the stairs.
I walked back into the kitchen and over to the boys, who were all standing around the island in what looked like a low-budget Comic Con. I stared straight ahead, not wanting the distraction, not wanting everyone to notice me acting like a fucking weirdo, but even with my back to her, I could feel her eyes boring through me.
I tried to listen as Jas started arguing with Tate about who was going to win the World Series next year. I tried to listen as Coop and Drew started discussing the current lines and how good Anders Lundberg was. And I really tried to listen as Murray started talking about the best assets to currently invest in.
I should go home. If I were a better man, I’d go home. I’d let her enjoy her evening with friends.IfI were a better man. But I wasn’t. I’d wasted years of our lives, and I wanted to spend every second I could looking at her through my new lens, making up for lost time, making up for what I’d been missing. To see what I’d been missing.
And to do all that tonight, without touching her?
I may as well buy a one-way ticket into madness.
Murray clapped his hands loudly. “Okay, are we hitting the road? It’s going to take time to get into the city.”
“Yeah, let’s get going.” Tate put down his glass. “I need a piss first though.”
“Me too.” Drew followed him out, but not before stopping by Emerson and giving her a kiss, whispering in her ear. She turned, her face lighting up with so much love and laughter as she wrapped her arms around him that I was filled with a level of jealousy I’d never experienced.
My eyes drifted to Molly, deep in conversation with Wolf, her curls tossing about as she moved animatedly at whatever Wolf was telling her, her face creasing up as she giggled uncontrollably. She was so fucking beautiful, it was making my heart ache with longing.
I wanted her.
I’d never wanted anything with anyone, but I wanted everything with her.
Murray clapped his hands again. “Gang, let’s move the fuck on!”
Everyone started milling out of the kitchen to the entrance hall, Molly throwing me a backward glance and a sly smile as she left. But I stayed where I was.
“See you later, buddy.” Jasper slapped Coop on the shoulder, bringing him into a massive embrace. “Happy New Year.”
“Happy New Year, man. What a year. What a year.”
“Yeah, what a fucking year.”
They walked out together and I could hear Cooper saying goodbye to everyone.
New Year’s Eve. Tomorrow would be a new year. A fresh start. Molly had told me to decide what I wanted to do, and I had.
