“Her Sports Surgery Fellowship. The letter she received inviting her for the assessment.” He dragged out each word, making sure I really understood what he was saying. And I understood the words, just not the context or meaning. “She’s not taking it. And no guesses that it’s because of you.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
His narrowed eyes opened wide. “Wow, she hasn’t even told you. That says everything. Maybe you should ask your girlfriend what she’s turned down because of you.”
He went back to his paperwork, with a sly shake of his head, dismissing me and the patience I’d been holding in snapped hard.
“Okay, I seriously have no fucking idea what your problem is, or what you’re trying to insinuate, but I will tell you that you know nothing about mine and Molly’s relationship. So go fuck yourself, you fucking prick. And you can shove these up your ass.” I launched the crutches into the room and they rebounded off the chair, falling loudly to the floor.
I slammed the door behind me and stood in the corridor, although even without the crutches, my instinct to march down to Molly’s office was still impinged by my reduced movement. I stayed where I was, taking deep breaths, trying to calm the rage storming through my body like it was gearing up for battle. Whatever had just happened, the only thing I knew was that Molly had kept something from me. Something that sounded important. I wasn’t sure what was making me more pissed, that he’d told me or that Molly hadn’t.
I couldn’t stop the unease and trepidation leaching into my bloodstream as I replayed his words. Had I been dragging her down? Did I make her worse? I didn’t see how that was possible. She worked so hard, and while her hours were long, it had felt that recently she had started to understand how proud I was of the work she put in. Of the difference she was making.
I hobbled down to her office and gave myself another minute before I pushed open the door. The roses I’d sent her took up nearly all the available space, and she was sitting behind her desk reading a book that was easily as thick as my arm. Her eyes sparkled at me as the latch clicked shut behind me.
“Hey, no crutches I see.” She got up and hugged me. “How did it go?
I pulled her into me, holding her tight, but the usual level of calm she filled me with was missing. “Fine.”
She looked up, sensing my tone and feeling the stiffness of my body. “What’s wrong?”
She was so beautiful, her face so loving as she smiled at me, and I wanted nothing more than to seal my lips to hers, taste her sweetness and forget about whatever it was that was causing my skin to prickle like I’d fallen into a nettle bush.
I rubbed my thumb along her cheek, while I tried to articulate what I was feeling, but couldn’t. Hunter’s words were still ringing in my head.
“Where is it?”
Her smile held as she replied. “Where’s what?”
“The Fellowship letter.”
Her eyes widened in shock like she’d been caught in a lie. Except it wasn’t a lie. I didn’t know what it was.
I wound a fat curl around my finger. “What is it, Mol? Why did I have to hear about it from Hunter Reyes? Because he made it sound like a big deal.”
“Hunter told you? I’m going to kill him.” She huffed loudly in annoyance, her lips puckering hard. “I was going to tell you, today. I wanted to do it in person.”
I let out a deep breath of relief, because that’s what I was hoping she’d say, and that I was making a fucking mountain out of nothing.
“Yeah, he was more of a dick than usual this morning. But why does he think you’re not taking it?”
“He was in my office the other day and saw it. I told him I hadn’t decided.” She wrapped her arms back around me. “I’m so sorry, I was going to tell you.”
“It’s okay, I just want to hear about stuff when it’s important to you, because it’s important to me.” I kissed the top of her head, breathing in the floral scent of her hair which eased the swirling in my gut. “Where is it? Can I see it?”
“Sure.”
She walked back to her desk and pulled out a piece of paper from the drawer, handing it to me. I glanced over the words– she was selected. Hand-picked, from what I assumed was a long list of candidates. There was prestige with this. This was impressive.
“Mol, this doesn’t look like the sort of thing you need to decide on. I can see this is an amazing opportunity, and I don’t even know what it is.”
But I didn’t hear her answer because my eyes landed on the date in the top right corner, and my feet moved two steps back of their own accord, away from her, highlighting the distance between us which suddenly felt more like a chasm than the thirty inches it really was. This was more than wanting to tell me in person, because we’d seen each other every day apart from the three I’d been travelling. We’d slept in the same bed every night. We’d had conversations about work and life and all the stupid shit in between, conversations about everything… except this, it seemed. And a lightbulb appeared so bright in my head it was blinding.
“On your birthday, when I came into your office, this is what you were reading. That was nearly two weeks ago.” I looked up from the letter, to see her face ridden with guilt. “Two weeks you’ve known about this? Two weeks you’ve been undecided and didn’t tell me? I don’t understand why you wouldn’t tell me this.”
She started chewing the inside of her cheek. “It’s a lot of hours Lex, more than what I do now, so we need to talk about that.”
“Yes, we do.” I crossed my arms on my chest and my head tilted as I looked at her. “But it seems like you only want to talk to me now because you’ve decided to take it. What if you’d decided not to take it? Would you have bothered to tell me?”
