My eyes flooded with tears again and I tried to blink through them, but I wasn’t quick enough. “What? What do you mean?”
“He’s a mess.” He leaned forward, his arms resting on his thighs. “But it’s a mess you made, and the only way it’s going to be cleaned up, is if you clean it. And you are going to clean it up because it’s going to make things very difficult for us all in the future if you two aren’t speaking.”
I held my wrist under my nose and sniffed. “Since when do you care so much about my love life?”
“I don’t. But Felix helped me win Fred back, and this makes us even. And honestly, I really don’t want to have to take sides in this, because I’m probably going to take his.”
My heart sank again. “You’re not funny, you know.”
“Yeah, I am,” he grinned. “Come on, tell me how you’re fixing this.”
I wiped away the tears that dropped onto Sammy’s head, even though he remained oblivious.
“I don’t know how. He thinks I don’t trust him, but I do. I do trust him.”
He arched a brow at me. “Then why didn’t you tell him about this award thing? Congratulations by the way.”
I glanced down as Samson let out a little squeak, his eyelids flickering as he dreamed. Felix had said we’d be having kids, he’d been thinking about our future while I could barely manage our present.
“Because I was scared. It’s a lot. It’s a lot of work,I’ma lot of work, and I didn’t want to put that on Felix.”
“I don’t even know what that means.”
I filled my lungs with a deep sigh. “Mom said I needed to find balance between a relationship and my work, so I’ve been trying to do that, but working a hundred hours a week isn’t exactly balance.”
Cooper groaned. “Mol, she didn’t mean that you don’t take amazing opportunities when you’re given them, just that your life doesn’t have to revolve around your job.”
“I know that, and that’s what I’ve been trying to do.” My jaw clenched and my teeth gritted. “I’ve been trying to make sure I have time to support him. You’re supposed to support each other in relationships, and this Fellowship will take up all my time, and he’ll be starting back on the ice at the same time it begins. I’ll never be able to come to a game.”
He looked at me like I was trying to explain quantum physics to him. “You’ve never been around to come to games. Why would you think that he’d expect that to start now?”
“Because now I’m his girlfriend, and that’s what girlfriends do.”
At least I hoped I was, although as he wasn’t answering my calls, maybe I wasn’t anymore. My already sunk heart sunk even further.
“No, it’s what some girlfriends do. Why are you comparing yourself to other people?”
“I’M TRYING TO BE SUPPORTIVE!” I hissed as loudly as I could, but not loudly enough to wake Sammy.
He picked up his coffee and sipped it. “No, you’re not. You’re trying to turn yourself into someone you’re not. And by doing that, you’re pushing Felix away. He’s never expected you to be any different, so why are you expecting him to want someone different?”
I narrowed my eyes at him. When did he become so wise and start making sense?
“Support is unique. It’s just what works. You think Freddie would want me turning up to her work? No, she’d kick my ass. Instead when I’m home from the away games, I hang with Sam because it gives her some time to herself. And you’re so obsessed with supporting Felix that you’re not allowing him to support you by giving you the time you need for this work thing. He’s never let you down before, why would he start with this?”
I blinked through the cloud of thoughts whirring in my brain, one coming in louder than all the rest. “What I want to know is, why do you sound like a relationship counsellor?”
“I’ve been reading stuff.” He leaned back, nonchalantly brushing some lint off his jeans. “Look, you and I are very similar. Stubborn to a fault, ambitious, independent, and we give no fucks what anyone else thinks. And those are mostly excellent qualities, but it also means that we aren’t good at relying on people. We aren’t good at admitting weakness. And if we’re not careful, it can fuck us over. I learned that the hard way, and I don’t want you to, as well.”
It was true; we were very similar, although I was definitely much less grumpy than him. I thought back to when he’d almost lost Freddie through his own stubbornness, and how hard he fought to get her back.
“What am I supposed to do?”
“Make him see that you believe it can work.”
I stared at him. “And how am I supposed to do that?
He waved his hand out dismissively. “You’re a scientist, use science or whatever. Use what you know and apply it to this. Make it work for you.”
