I led him through the main living area, slowly down the hallway and through to the kitchen. With each step, my brain worked overtime wondering what he was thinking; trying to view this place I’d called home for five years through new eyes. I wasn’t particularly girly; my apartment was filled with neutral, calming tones away from a chaotic life, but now I wondered if it just looked too boring and safe.
I placed the flowers on the kitchen counter and went in search of a vase big enough. Penn was walking around in silence when I returned, his broad back to me. He’d changed his shirt since this morning but was still in the jeans which sculpted his ass in a way that made my mouth water, while my brain battled against whether it should or shouldn’t be picturing him naked.
He stopped next to a series of pictures from a vacation Lauren and I took in Italy when we were eighteen. He reached out then stopped himself, his finger curling into his fist as if he thought better of it.
“You okay?”
He spun round with a sheepish smile, thrusting his hands into his pockets. “Yeah. I’ve imagined being here so much, wondering what it looked like. And it’s perfect, it’s exactly how I thought it would be.”
“Really?”
He nodded. “Yep.”
“You don’t think it needs more color?”
He shook his head slowly. “No, you’re all the color it needs.”
I tilted my head in surprise, and I swear there was a slight blush creeping up his neck. Penn Shepherd, this self-assured playboy who was always surrounded by people of all sexes desperately vying for his attention, was here, blushing in my apartment, with his gaze locked so tightly onto mine we could have been opposite sides of a magnet.
All of a sudden, the distance between us was too wide, the air too thick and heavy for my lungs to inhale, and he noticed.
“Lowe…” he stepped in and brushed the pad of his thumb against my cheek, cupping it as I leaned into his touch. “You’re so perfect. I don’t know what’s happened this week, how I’ve suddenly got everything I’ve ever wanted, but I’m not going to fuck it up.”
I frowned a fraction. “What do you mean?”
He swallowed thickly. “I mean, just being here with you, that’s enough for me. More than enough.”
My heart stuttered. I didn’t know what to make of his words - the ones he’d spoken and the ones he’d leftunspoken - but whatever it was, I immediately became conscious I was wildly underdressed. I knew without looking my nipples were harder than pebbles, and clearly showing through the thin cotton of my top. Following my shower, I’d changed into my usual ‘at home comfies’ of the softest shorts and tank top, so perhaps I was giving off the impression I was seconds away from throwing myself at him.
Not that it was miles away from the realms of possibility.
I thumbed behind me before I did just that. “I’m going to grab a sweater. Are you hungry? Shall we order food?”
He dropped his hands. “Sounds good to me. I’ll be in charge of that while you do what you need to.”
I ran off up the stairs to my bedroom, gasping for breath by the time I reached it, which had nothing to do with taking them two at a time and everything to do with the man standing in my living room.
I wasn’t imagining this, this chemistry. I could see it in his eyes, in the way his hands held the tiniest tremor when they touched me, in the way his voice deepened right after he kissed me.
How could I have possibly missed it?
I stood in front of the long mirror in my dressing room. Did I look different? My cheeks were pinker, my skin was glowing, my eyes were bluer - but that wasn’t it. There was something tangible, like I’d been hot-wired and was suddenly coming to life, and now had the ability to see what had always been in front of me.
I stared at myself for as long as I could before he’d wonder what was taking me so long, threw on a light sweater and yoga pants, and rushed back downstairs.
I found him opening a bottle of wine. I took two glasses from the cupboard and placed them down for him to use.
“How was the rest of your day? Did you find what you were looking for?”
When Penn had left me earlier, he’d dropped me off with a proclamation he was going on a treasure hunt that only Rafe could help him with. He hadn’t offered up any more and I hadn’t asked, but more than once this afternoon, my mind had drifted to what he’d been searching for.
“I did.” He poured out the wine and handed me a glass. “When I saw Jupiter Reeves, he gave me a condition to his coming to New York.”
I sipped my wine, savoring the rich berry notes on my tongue while I waited for him to continue.
“He wanted me to find a woman for him, someone he’d once loved. He said he’d come to The Lions if I found her.” He narrowed his eyes at me for a reaction, similar to what he’d done earlier in the archives, giving me the distinct impression he was jealous.
Jealous of Jupiter Reeves… because of me.
