You get the idea.
The reason? She was lying right next to me.
It had been a long time since I’d dreamed of waking up next to Lowe, and I don’t mean subconsciously. I mean literally dreamed of it happening; thought of it every morning when I woke up alone, fantasized about it during board meetings, and pictured it every night as I fell into bed. But it was something I’d given up years ago, seeing as it always infected me with a filthy, black mood for the rest of the day.
Yet this morning it was real; really,reallyreal.
I was almost too scared to look away out of fear of her disappearing. But there she was, every time I opened my eyes again, breathing so softly I could barely stand it. And every minute which had passed since she’d fallen asleep, I’d had to remind myself that I wasn’t dreaming.
She stirred on her pillow, her nose scrunching up, but her eyes stayed closed. I gently brushed away a strand of hair whichhad fallen across her face, then tucked my hand back up under the pillow to continue with my watching, staying as still as I could so as not to disturb her.
I didn’t think it was possible for someone to be any more beautiful, but it was almost as if all my senses had been heightened now I’d been able to experience every aspect of her - her taste, her smell, her touch, her sounds - that they’d all bonded together and formed a pull so terrifyingly strong and deep it could drown me if I let it.
So, yeah, while I may have been outwardly composed since the second I’d walked through her front door last night, inwardly, I’d been losing my shit like a fifteen year old touching a pair of boobs belonging to the head cheerleader, and the star of all his adolescent fantasies.
To me, Lowe was all that and more.
When I’d been fifteen, she’d been eighteen. The perfect poster pin-up. Untouchable. So out of reach to me even one of Marnie’s rockets wouldn’t have been able to get to her. Yet, by some miracle, I’d finally managed it, and there was no way I was going to waste a single moment of watching her by sleeping.
My dick felt the same, seeing as he’d been sporting a semi since I’d eased out of her for the final time. It had only been a few hours since we’d finally crashed right as dawn was breaking; as soon as she’d closed her eyes, I’d settled into this position, slowly losing feeling in my arm, but quickly falling more in love with her than I ever had been before.
This was it. I knew I would never experience anything so perfect.
I hadn’t come over expecting sex; it hadn’t even occurred to me. I’d been utterly content with simply being in her presence and enjoying the unique sensation of feeling anxiety free while trying to keep my shit together. Therefore, sex hadn’t been at the forefront of my mind. Not that it had been sex in thetraditional meaning of the word, because that, last night, was transcendental.
For the first time ever, I’d had the overwhelming sense of being exactly where I should be.
Murray and Rafe had talked about this when Kit and Beulah had come along - which I’d only partially paid attention to because… you know… listening to people go on and on about being in love when you’d firmly come to terms with the fact that it wouldn’t ever be part of your life wasn’t the best use of time. Instead, I’d reconciled with myself that I’d always be the fifth wheel in our group.
But this morning?
The intensity.
The connection.
The tethering to a reality I never thought I’d be part of.
The pendulum was now firmly swinging in a different direction. My direction.
A tightness gripped my chest at the thought I might have never experienced this, and I rubbed it away before it could take hold of me properly.
She finally stirred; her eyelids fluttering as she emerged from her dreams and woke up more elegantly than a Disney Princess, but one unfocused look at me and a confused frown formed on her brow as she shifted back on her pillow.
She lifted up the edge of the sheet to cover her mouth. “Were you watching me sleep?”
“Yep.” I pulled the sheet down so I could kiss her, but she held her mouth together too tightly for me to be able to get further than a gentle brush.
“How long for?”
“Since you fell asleep…” I turned to the clock, “nearly four hours ago.”
Her lips rolled as she tried to hold back a laugh. “That’s pretty creepy you know.”
I propped myself up on one elbow, peering down to her. “It’s not creepy to go to a museum and look at a piece of art. This is the same thing.”
“Oh God,” she groaned, breaking her gracefulness with an arm thrown over her face. “How did I not know how cheesy you were? How do you come up with it so early in the morning?”
I didn’t answer; instead, I shifted further over her. My dick, now fully aware of her presence and as wide awake as I was, prodded her thigh. I knew she felt it because her lips parted with a soft sigh. Her arm dropped away, allowing her the opportunity to watch as I nudged the sheet down with my nose, exposing her mouthwatering golden breasts. Sucking a hardened nipple into my mouth, my tongue ran leisurely over the nub.
