I tried to push him away but wasn’t able to before he pulled me in for an exaggerated hug. The kiss on my cheek was a final straw.
“Get off, for fuck’s sake!”
“Okay, what’s going on?” Even though I wasn’t looking at him, I knew Rafe was staring at me, pinning me with the cross-examination intimidation tactics he used to practice in the mirror at our place on Beacon Hill.
It had never worked before, but I was finally going spill something. It wasn’t solely down to his penetrating stare; it was probably fifty-fifty with me simply having had enough.
I didn’t want to keep this to myself any longer. I couldn’t. The secrecy was unnecessary bullshit.
I looked up from the point on my sneakers which I’d been focused on. “It’s Lowe.”
Murray sighed, his face full of empathy. “Oh, mate, I’m sorry. You seemed to be getting on okay on Saturday, at least you didn’t have any nervous breakdowns like usual.”
My brow etched in confusion, then I realized that despite all of Lowe’s protestations and panicking about our friends figuring it out, we’d gotten away with our sneaking around. And it didn’t make me feel any better. “No, it’s not that.”
“What is it then?”
I pushed up my Lions cap and scratched my head, then scrubbed a hand over my face. The pair of them were standing still, waiting for me to drop whatever it was that clearly had me twisted up in knots. There were so many it was hard to see a beginning or an end.
“Since last Tuesday…” I began, realizing I’d never actually spoken these next words aloud or dreamed I’d ever would, “Lowe and I have been sleeping together.”
I looked from Murray to Rafe and back again… neither had moved. Both were staring, their mouths slightly open in disbelief. I wasn’t sure how long to wait to see if they’d have questions before I continued. I continued anyway.
“And I want to tell people. I wanted to tell you guys, I want to tell our friends, but she wants to keep it a secret, which is my first problem.” I waited again to see if they had anything to add, but it seemed like they were still processing the news. To be fair, I’d had a week and I was also still processing the fact that I’d attained the unattainable. “My second is her mom, who seems to have made it her life’s mission to get Lowe a boyfriend. Lowe’s phone blows up every hour with another text from Abigail containing details of a guy she has to meet. It’s like she’s running some kind of gigolo cartel. There were eleven just today! And it drives Lowe crazy, so my solution is to tell her mom about us, and Lowe won’t. She doesn’t want to tell anyone. We’ve spent every night together for a week. I’m exhausted. I’ve barely slept because it’s so hard to be next to her and believe she’s really there. It’s intense and overwhelming, and I don’t want to be apart from her.” Then I realized what was upsetting me the most, and my voice cracked to barely a whisper. “I don’t want to lose her.”
Murray was the first to snap out of his shock. “Why would you lose her?”
“Because I’ve never had her before, and now I have, it terrifies me that I won’t again. Because I lost my dad, and I can’t lose her too.” I wiped my nose before the full waterworks started. They were closer than I cared to admit, and I didn’t want to bawl like a baby when we had a game to win tonight.
“Oh, buddy.” Rafe grabbed me into a bear-sized hug which did nothing to help me not cry. “You won’t lose her. There’s no way.”
“Have you told her?”
I stepped back with a sniff. “That I’ve been in love with her forever?”
Murray nodded.
“No. I didn’t want to scare her.”
“Maybe you should. Then she can see you’re serious, then she knows it’s okay to tell her mom.”
“You reckon?”
“Yes, definitely. Girls just want security. Tell her and it’ll solve everything.”
I took a deep breath, feeling calmer for the first time all day. “Thanks, man.”
Rafe held his hands up for silence and we both turned to him.
“Hang on a minute, can we just take a second to step back and saywhat the fuck?! You and Lowe?! This is epic!” He squeezed my shoulders hard, and shook me. “Pennington, you and Lowe!”
I blushed. Fucking blushed and dropped my head, like a bashful little school girl, then threw them a huge grin which threatened to do some permanent damage to my face. “Yeah, I know. Crazy, huh?”
“It’s goddamn amazing. I’m so happy for you!”
“Thanks, man.” I clapped my hands together with a jump, suddenly full of energy. “Right, we have a game to win. Who are we playing against? I didn’t read the email.”
Murray was just about to answer when three guys stepped out of the shadows and onto the court. “What the fuck’s he doing here? We played the Governor’s office last month.”
