“No, it’s not. But Lowe, I need you to know your mom is driving me crazy jealous. All her text messages, they have to stop.”
“She drives me crazy too,” Lowe laughed, though I could tell she didn’t realize how serious I was being. “You just learn to ignore her.”
I held her wrist before her fingers could run through my hair and I lost my train of thought. “Babe, I mean it. I don’t want to ignore her. You need to talk to your mom and tell her about us. We can tell her together, but she has to know. I can’t deal with all these guys she’s pushing on you.”
She hesitated, but I knew that hesitation had more to do with Abigail than with me.
“It’ll be okay, Lowe. She’s going to have to know sometime.”
“Is she?” she grimaced.
I leaned forward and kissed her nose. “Yes. I’m not going anywhere; you’re stuck with me now.”
She worried at her lip for a second, catching it between her teeth, but then she took a deep breath. “Okay, but let me tell Lauren first. Let me talk to her before anyone else.”
“Deal.” I brushed my lips against hers, but pulled back when I heard her sigh. “Now, how ‘bout this bath? My bedside care is beginning to sorely lack.”
Her eyes twinkled as she moved off my knee and stood up, crossing her arms over her chest to remove her t-shirt. My dick immediately stood to attention as soon as her breasts bouncedfree. Her thumb ran under the elastic of her sleep shorts until she shimmied out of them.
“Come on then.” I watched her step into the bath, and I couldn’t get off the floor quick enough to follow, prepared to give her whatever she wanted.
I would always give her whatever she wanted.
Chapter 58
Ididn’t think it was possible to feel on top of the world and riddled with overwhelming anxiety at the same time, but I seem to have managed it. Add a dash of shock in there too, then you’ll have a little idea of where my head was at as I waited for Lauren, so I could tell her I’d been sleeping with her little brother.
God that sounded all kinds of wrong, but the alternative wasn’t any better. Fucking… making love…
Consumed bywas closer to the mark.
That’s exactly it; I’d been consumed by Penn Shepherd since I’d been dragged to his apartment by Lauren, and she’d shaken him back into joining the real world. That had been twelve days ago and now… now Penn Shepherd loves me.
Loves.
LOVES.
Penn lovesme, and every single time he’d told me in the last thirty-six hours, a little zing of pleasure zipped down my spine. The only time he hadn’t told me was while he slept. In fact, he’d lay there, softly breathing next to me in a sleep so solid and deep you’d think he’d never been asleep before, whereas I’d stayed awake, unable to tear my eyes away from him.
I’d spent the time really looking at him, studying him, trying to reconcile the Penn I’d known before with the Penn whose arm had been wrapped around me like he was scared I might not be there when he woke. I soaked him up; the moonlight-flooded room made him look more perfect than anyone had a right to. His thick blonde hair, still full of his boyhood curls, the contours of his face - his full brow, the one that could strip me bare with a simple raise; his pouty mouth, the one that had given me more pleasure than I’d ever known was possible…
I’d stared so long the purple bruising round his eye had darkened by the time I’d finally fallen asleep, only for him to wake up with the energy of a high school senior, the same way he’d woken me every morning for the past week. Only this time, there was a tangible tenderness that hadn’t been present before, like he’d remembered his declaration and could finally allow it to show.
Finally let me see it.
No wonder his biceps were so big; a lifetime is a long time to carry around a torch for one person.
I’d realized something as I lay there; I’d realized I was desperate to catch up. Two weeks ago, we’d barely spoken more than a sentence to each other, and now he was talking about a forever. Penn. This beautiful man I’d known all my life - yet only recently seemed to have met - wanted a foreverwith me.
If there was one thing I was certain about, it was this: what I’d experienced this past week, what I’d felt, I knew I never had before, and it was all because of Penn. I’d had my eyes opened.My heart opened. And while he might have had a twenty-five years head-start, I was using his map and heading in the same direction.
I knew it.
Which is why I was now here, sitting alone in the bar where I was due to meet the girls for our Thursday night; where I’d asked Lauren to meet me a little earlier, because I’d reasoned she couldn’t get too pissed at me if she knew the others were on the way.
I’d had a whole day yesterday to build up the courage to talk to her. A whole day of convincing myself I was doing the right thing and it wouldn’t be as bad as it seemed in my head, but I was treading on unchartered ground. I remember Lauren grumbling through her med school years that everyone should know her brother was off limits, but seeing as that was twelve years ago, it was anyone’s guess whether the same rules applied… as nothing had ever happened that I was aware of.
I poured another glass of wine, ramming my spare hand between my thighs in an attempt to stop them jittering. My foot was tapping so nervously against the table leg I wouldn’t have been surprised if it managed to dislodge a screw, even if it did look sturdy enough to withstand it. I was more nervous than I’d been for my first midterms. Or when I knew my mom was going to have to find out I’d broken my nose.
