I walked further in, just a little further, but enough to drop my bag on the desk with a soft thud. Tentatively brushing my fingers over the cool edge of metal around the massive computer screen also placed there, I scanned slowly around and let out aquiet chuckle; my shoulders relaxed a fraction. Penn Shepherd must have emptied an office supplies store for the amount of note pads, pens, highlighters, and sticky notes in every color, all neatly lined up like a rainbow.
Picking up the pink pad on the end, I mindlessly flicked the edges between my fingers while wondering – for the thousandth time – what had possessed me to come here, beyond the year-long air-tight contract I’d signed and couldn’t get out of.
My therapist said for the closure, apparently, which I’d been repeating to myself like a mantra since I accepted the position.
But why do you still need closure after fourteen years? After you’ve already given yourself to another man in marriage? Is itreallynecessary?
Making the best of a situation that wasn’t just bad, it was catastrophic – that’s what this was, especially as this morning it seemed I was more interested in going out of my way to avoid seeing anyone.
Or one person in particular; the one I didn’t want to think about – namely a very large baseball player; though in this building, that didn’t narrow it down all that well.
But this one I’d last seen fourteen years ago, as I collapsed, sobbing on my front porch, and watched him walk away with my heart in his hands. Until two days ago, that is.
I looked back down at my palm. It didn’t appear any different to how it usually was; small, fleshy, pink, but somehow I could still feel the bristle of his whiskers from when my hand made contact with his cheek.
It had been a long time since I’d imagined I could feel him next to me. Feel his strength; his smooth golden skin stretched across thickening muscles. Feel his hot breath as he smiled through his soft kisses.
And when I’d last seen him, he’d been a boy growing into adulthood.
Now Jupiter Reeves wasallman.
I hadn’t expected to be so shaken, so affected by his closeness; being in his presence.
I hadn’t expected him to still be so beautiful, as if age had decided it would only harden the line of his jaw, and sharpen his cheekbones.
I groaned again and slumped down in the chair, spinning it around with the force of my movement.
What was I doing? Maybe I actually had lost my mind.
I’d lost something.
What a mess.
I pulled my bag over and dug around in it for the LifeSavers I habitually kept, then popped one in my mouth.
“Knock knock.” I twisted back around to the door, stopping myself with my foot on the desk before I went a full three-sixty, to see two women walking through it; one with a sleek blonde bob, one with thick, glossy, dark brunette curls bouncing on her shoulders. “We wanted to come and see how you’re settling in, and if we can steal you away for some coffee, if you’re not busy.”
The pair of them stood in the doorway, smiling like they’d won the lottery. The blonde one was Lowe Slater, the fiancée of Penn Shepherd. I knew this because when I arrived a couple of days ago, I’d been waiting in his office and he’d introduced me to her, at which point she pulled me into an embrace like I was her favorite stuffed toy from childhood and she’d found me in the back of a closet.
I hadn’t had a chance to follow up as less than a minute later, Jupiter had walked into the room, and I’d lost the ability to speak, breathe, or stay calm. Every shred of self-control I possessed melted away as I stepped toward him, my eyes clouding with the reddest rage the closer I got.
He’d stood there, grinning down at me with his perfect smile that I wanted to knock straight off his perfect face.
I hadn’t even cared that there were witnesses.
I soaked my hand in a bucket of ice that night; it was still a bit sore.
And now…
From the way they were both staring at me expectantly, I assumed Lowe had told this other lady exactly what had happened.
“Marnie, are you okay?” asked Lowe.
I blinked moisture back into my eyes and jumped up. “Um, yes, sorry. I’m… sorry, I’m in a bit of a daze. My first morning… this place…”
“Overwhelming?”
I smiled and my throat thickened out of nowhere. Now I had too much moisture in my eyes. “Yeah, you could say that,” I croaked out.
