“The heart wants what the heart wants?” I try, pulling him along as the crowd disperses, thinning out as they all begin walking back home.
“Fuck your heart.”
“I really hope you won’t. That sounds painful.”
Christian grabs my shirt, forcing me to stop. “I’m being serious, Miles. You could get killed from this. Who knows what’s down there. Not to mention it’s designed forLayperry, not humans.”
“I see what’s going on here,” I say, nodding my head. “You actuallycare.”
Christian pinches the bridge of his nose. “That’s what you got out of all that?”
“Gotta find the good in every situation,” I tell him, poking him in the ribs. He just groans, making his displeasure known.
We walk in companionable silence all the way back to our houses. Before I turn to the right to walk up the path to my house, Christian stops me. “If you ever repeat this, I will kill you. But I do care. You’re my best friend and I don’t want anything to ever happen to you.” I open my mouth to respond but his glare stops me in my tracks. “But I also know that you love him. So no matter what, I will support you and be right by your side.”
Before he can fight me, I pull my friend into a tight hug, surprised when he hugs me back just as tightly. And then, like the mature adult he is, Christian is shoving me away with a groan. “Gross. Keep your love and affection to yourself, thanks.”
“I love you too, Christian.”
Christian walks over to his own house, flipping me the bird over his head as he goes. I walk over to my home, a smile plastered on my lips as I walk.
Inside I go through the steps to make myself comfortable, getting into some sweats and finding a snack. Christian and I were allowed two bags when we came here. One of those bags just happened to be filled with food we thought we’d miss. We’ve had to ration our snacks so they last as long as possible and today feels like a Lucky Charms kind of night.
I’m just about to sit down when there’s a knock on my door. Setting my food down, I walk over to the door, throwing it open once I see it’s Timalah.
I’m about to greet him when he’s shoving his way inside, his hands going to my face, holding me still as he kisses me. Surprise rises up inside of me at the gesture. This kiss is like nothing I’ve ever experienced in all my life, it’s hot and filled with unleashed desperation. My hands go to his chest, holding on for dear life as his tongue swipes into my mouth.
“Miles,” he says, his voice breaking as he moves to hug me tight. I don’t know what’s going on or what’s gotten into Timalah but in that moment I would give him anything just to make sure he’s okay. “Miles, I need you.”
“You have me. All of me,” I tell him seriously, only realizing the unadulterated truth to my words.. “For as long as you want.” A look crosses his face that I don’t understand before it’s smoothing out again. This time when he kisses me it’s softer, the desperation falling away, like just my presence is enough to soothe whatever’s going on inside him.
“Let me rephrase,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper as his eyes dart between my own. “Iwantyou, Miles. Will you fuck me?”
“Yes,” I groan out, yanking him down the hall and towards my bedroom. My brain quickly reminds me of thematurous trialI just witnessed. Soon it’ll be Timalah’s turn. I want this, wanthimwhile I still can. Maybe that makes me selfish. Or maybe that just makes me human.
Chapter Seven
Timalah
Ghenie’s words play over and over in my head. I try to push them away but I just can’t. Fuck. The scene does an instant replay without my permission.
“We need to talk,” Ghenie says, pulling me to the side as everyone else leaves the town square. My eyes dart over Ghenie’s head, watching as Christian and Miles walk away, side by side. My heart feels light when I look at him, knowing he feels the same as I do. I look back at my friend, at my leader, wondering why he looks so serious.
“What’s going on?”
Ghenie lets out a long breath before he’s putting on hisTorallehface. He looks sorry as he says, “it’s your time, Timalah.”
My heart picks up speed, crawling up into my throat. I try to breathe but I suddenly find it so much harder, like a vice is latched around my lungs, keeping them from expanding. “My time for what?”
“For yourmaturous trial.I’m sorry.”
“But why? You’re the one who decides. You could just hold it off. You could wait.”
Ghenie’s eyes harden. “You know I don’t control these things. I don’t just make them up to serve my own purpose. There are cycles and meditations and I do my best to follow in our ancestors’ steps. I know you’re my friend but I’m also yourToralleh. Please don’t forget that.”
I lower my head, showing my sorry and submission. “I understand,” I say, not even recognizing my own voice for the way it’s lost all tone.
“Isn’t it better this way?” Ghenie asks softly. “This way you’ll know without a doubt if he’s really yours. And if he’s not, you won’t be living with a broken heart later on.”
