Chapter Twelve
Miles
“So,” Christian murmurs softly as the two of us sip our hot, morning beverages from the comfort of his porch swing. “Why aren’t you over there helpingyour mate?”he asks, not hiding the way he still insists on saying mate like it’s a curse word or something.
I look over at my house, smiling to myself as I see the silhouette of Timalah moving around inside. Well, notmyhouse anymore. After our mating, Timalah had moved all his things in, now making itourhome. There’s something so charming about looking around and finding his things all mixed with mine. His clothes are in the same closet with mine in our bedroom, he has his own towel and toothbrush in the bathroom, his special antenna brush is next to my comb, and every few days, a new flower ends up in my apothecary.
My eyes finally pull away from staring into our window, turning back to Christian. I give him a shrug. “He said it was something he needed to do on his own. I think he’s got like somesort of nesting instinct going on? He keeps wanting to clean everything in sight.”
Christian hums, going back to his drink. Things have been slightly strained since my mating with Timalah. Almost like a wedge was put between us and I hate it. Somedayreally fucking soon, my kid is gonna be born, and I can’t stand the thought of Christian not being in my kid’s life. Hell, Christian’s my best friend which basically makes him my kid’s uncle.
“Okay,” I finally say, breaking the weird tension going on. “What’s going through your head?”
“Nothing,” he grits out, still not looking at me.
“Bullshit. You’ve been broodier than usual.”
Christian rolls his eyes. There’s a moment of tense silence before the breath leaves his lungs all at once and his shoulders fall away from his ears. “It’s not you, it’s me.”
“Jesus Christ,” I moan, rubbing at my eyes. “Really? That’s what you’re going with? It’s not you it’s me?”
Christian lets out an amused snort, his lips pulling up ever so slightly. “I’m still just getting used to everything,” he says softly, his hands tightening around his mug. “Sometimes I wonder if it was a mistake coming here.”
My heart picks up speed, slamming against my ribs and filling me with a bone deep ache. I swallow around the lump in my throat as I wonder if this is my fault. I was the one who talked Christian into this exchange in the first place, putting the idea in our heads while drunk off our asses. And now I was happily mated while he was miserable. Fuck. I’m such a selfish asshole.
“I’m so sorry,” I say, reaching over and grabbing his wrist. “I didn’t even notice you weren’t happy. Gods, I’m such a shitty friend.”
“You’re not,” Christian says fiercely. “Like I said, this isn’t you, Miles. I’m so fucking happy for you. You have your place witheveryone as a healer, you have Timalah, soon you’ll have this baby. You don’t have time to worry about me.”
“Christian, that’s not true. I’ll always have time for you.” The wind blows past us, making the tall grass sway back and forth. I clear my throat. “Are you thinking of going back?”
Christian stares down into his cup. So softly I barely hear, he answers, “I don’t know.”
I wipe my hand against my face, trying to keep my emotions in check. “Okay. Whatever you decide, you know I’ll support you.”
“I know,” he whispers, finally looking up at me with a little smile. “I just wish that I had a place to fit in like you do.”
“It’s a good thing you don’t have to decide one way or anything for another year,” I tell him seriously. “Who knows what can happen in that time.”
Christian sits back in his swing, putting his feet up on the porch railing and using it to push us. We drink our brown tea in silence but there’s still something nagging at the back of my head.
“Okay, I have one more question.”
Christian lets out a drawn out sigh. “Let’s hear it?”
“What the fuck is the deal with you and Ghenie?”
Christian looks away, his cheeks turning pink. Interesting. “Nothing,” he hisses out. “That guy is such a fucking dick. I swear to god he’s got the biggest stick up his ass. Like what the hell even is his deal? I get it, he’s their leader and he has to be prepared for anything and has to be like just and following the rules or whatever. But that doesn’t mean he has to lecture me when it’s just us! He doesn’t have to be all high and mightyconstantly. Jesus Christ.”
I stare at my best friend in complete and utter shock. I’m almost positive this is the most I’ve ever heard come from Christian’s mouth all at once. I open my mouth to say something but I have no words so I close it again. “Umm…”
“And another thing,” he says, putting his cup on the railing and turning to me, his hands going wide with gestures as he talks, his cheeks turning even pinker. “What the hell is up with his hair? How does he get it sowhite? And his teeth? They’re so straight and his fangs always poke out. For fuck’s sake, no one should be that pretty constantly, it’s not even right! And then he has to prance around here all the fucking time like he’s just one of the other warriors when really he’s some fancy leader. Gods, it just grinds my gears and gets me so pissed off. Why couldn’t he have taken a liking toyou?No, he had to be so nice to me one second and the next talk to me like I’m stupid.” Christian finishes his rant by putting his arms over his chest, glaring at the grass.
“Right,” I say softly under my breath. “That’s it.”
“Yeah. That’s it.”
“You know you could just--”
