It makes sense that Christian feels the need to keep himself away from those he cares about. It makes sense that he would keep everyone at arm’s length. I do not think it possible to beprouder than I am, seeing how far he’s come, how much he’s grown in such a short time. I am not naive, I know there will be hardships in our future but they don’t feel as scary now. They feel like we will tackle them together head-on.
As I walk through the door, my mind is miles away which is why I don’t notice what’s going on at first. It takes longer than I care to admit to notice the flowers and the candles.
I stop in my tracks, staring around the living area in wonder. Christian is not the romantic type and yet, he has managed to completely surprise me.
“Right this way,” Christian says, walking into the room and gesturing me towards the couch. “I got your favorite spot comfortable so you can feed Maribel before bed.”
I’m powerless to do anything but follow Christian’s lead. I sit down in my seat and a warm blanket is placed around my shoulders. A glass of water is beside me, knowing how important it is to stay hydrated while nursing. Everything is perfect.
Dare I say,Christianis perfect.
I know he won’t be ready to hear this for some time, but I love him. I love him so much. When I imagine the future, it always features him by my side.
“Do you need anything else?”
I shake my head. “This is perfect. Thank you.”
Christian leans down, leaving a soft kiss on my forehead, right between my antennae before he’s leaving the room and heading to the bedroom.
I pull my shirt down and bring Maribel to my chest, allowing her to latch. Then I tip my head back against the couch, letting out a long breath. There’s so much time between our beach confessions and now. Has the spark died? Will Christian still want to follow through with what we implied?
Am I ready to be intimate again?
That last question is the easiest to answer. Of course I am. I have been aching for him for years. My ass has been growing slick since I left the beach which made for a very uncomfortable walk back home.
A sound catches my attention and I look over, finding Christian rolling Maribel’s bassinet out of the bedroom. He doesn’t go far, leaving it in the hallway right by the door. We’ll be able to hear her if she starts crying but there’s enough distance that we won’t accidentally wake her up.
It seems as though Christian has thought of everything.
I’m not sure how much time passes but eventually, Maribel drinks her fill. Before I can stand up, Christian is suddenly there.
“Let me,” he says softly, careful not to wake her up. “I’ll change her and meet you in the bedroom once she’s down.”
“Alright,” I say, standing up and getting my shirt back into place. Then I make my way to the bedroom.
Once inside, I’m hit with a wave of awe all over again. Christian has lit candles in here as well. The room is filled with warm, flickering orange light. There is a flower on the bedside table, one of my favorites.
I sit on the side of the bed, wondering what I should do to prepare. Should I get naked and wait on the bed? Should I be standing so we can start kissing the moment he’s back? Is there a third option I haven’t thought of?
The first time we had sex, it was all heat of the moment. It was rushed and forceful. There was a tinge of desperation and aggression to it all. I didn’t have time to have nerves because one moment we were standing apart and the next we were in the middle of fucking.
This time couldn’t have been more different. This time I have a moment to overthink everything, and the voices screaming at me arenothelping.
Christian walks into our room, closing the door behind him. He turns towards me and I realize I haven’t moved from my place on the bed. He looks me up and down, his forehead wrinkling in the middle with worry.
“Is everything okay? If you changed your mind I totally understand.”
“I haven’t,” I say right away. I put my hands against my face, rubbing at my eyes until I can see stars. “I want you, more than anything, Christian. That will never change.”
“Then why do you look so worried?”
“I am overthinking everything. Are you sureyouwant this?”
“Never been so sure of anything in my life,” he tells me, getting on his knees before me. He runs his hands over my calves and up to my thighs. “I want this time to be different. I’ll be here when you wake in the morning. I’ll take care of you. I’ll be gentle, Ghenie.”
I swallow around the lump in my throat. “Not too gentle.”
Christian looks up at me with a little smirk. “Not too gentle,” he says in understanding before he’s reaching for my feet, removing my socks. His fingers run up my body, tugging on the bottom of my shirt and pulling it over my head.
