“Can you come have a seat over here?”
He stands, cautiously sitting in the same chair where I was on my knees before him a month earlier. Why that one, out of the two?
His teeth keep biting, and I watch as the skin gets plucked before popping back out. It’s so silent in the room, the only noise is my own heart thrumming in my chest.
I’ve never had to do this before. I’ve never wanted to. Every shred of doubt is rearing its ugly head while the stupid stomach-wasps go berserk.
I take a deep breath when Jax yells, “Just fucking say it already!”
I’m shocked, to say the least. I didn’t think he had it in him, but I also do as he wishes.
“The last two-ish months, I’ve really appreciated everything you’ve done.”
Tears fill in his eyes, and he bites his lip harder. God, no. Please.
My own voice is choked as I continue, and I have to cough to clear it. “You’ve been great, Jax. Unfortunately, though, there are other things I’m looking for, and you will no longer be needed to fill this role. Um—” I clear my throat again, not able to make eye contact with him as the tears roll down his face. I want nothing more than to tuck him into my arms and tell him I have this elaborate plan, but I can’t. “This is your final day of employment. You will not be needed after today, and, although I’m not requiring it, I would really,reallylike you to go to the party tonight. If not for me as my assistant, then to say goodbye to Becca, to the people down on the editorial floor. Of course, I would be happy to write you a letter of recommendation, but you can also give them my phone number, and I can give it that way.”
I sneak a glance back up, and his green eyes have gotten darker, his pale skin red and splotchy. There are wet tracks down his beautiful face, and my throat feels as though there’s been a rock lodged in it.
“You can go ahead and go home. Uh—get ready if that’s what you choose to do. Jax, I really am sorry. I know you don’t see that now…”
“No.” His words come out as a sob, and that breaks my heart even more. “No, Kai, I don’t understand. I’ve never been told I’m doing something wrong. I’ve never been told how to do better. I wasn’t even taught how to do this fucking job. I’ve just been winging this shit. I—I’ve been working my ass off, and now I’m just fired?”
“It will all?—”
“No. Don’t tell me it’ll all be okay. Don’t tell me shit.” He stands abruptly, pulling the company phone out of his pocket and putting it on my desk before striding out of the room.
I let my own tears go; the sob that wracks me has me hyper-ventilating while trying to get my shit together. I want him to know the reasons, but it’ll be harder for him to deny it if I justannounce it all later. I’m just sitting here hoping I get a later, that he’s not once again the one who got away. I’m not sure I could take it another time.
They say if you love someone, let them go, and if they come back, they were always yours. If they don’t, then they never were. But what if you let them go twice?
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
JAX
It takesme a good thirty minutes to get my shit together enough to drive home. Even then, the sun is too bright and burns my sore eyes, causing a new onslaught of tears to come pouring out.
I just don’t understand where everything went wrong. Sure, there was quite a bit of distance between us the last month or so, but could that really be the issue? Surely not. I’m sure Kai was feeling all the same things and understood why we needed space, especially in a professional setting.
Didn’t he appreciate that, though, too? Did he really want to risk being caught or having rumors spread of beingthatCEO who fucks his personal assistant? We were a walking, talking sitcom playing out before our very own eyes. I wasn’t just doing this for me.
As soon as I get home, I get my ice rollers from the fridge to try to calm some of the swelling in my face. I don’t even need to look at myself to know I’m a hot fucking mess right now, and I’ll be damned if I let Kai take tonight from me. Becca has been so excited about showing me every fucking detail, so I’m going to buck up and go, even if it’s just to support a friend.
When the rollers start to become more room-temp, I put them back and then head to the bathroom to risk a glance.
Yep. Hot mess express.
I have approximately six hours to get myself looking tip-top to show Kai exactly what he’s missing. I’ve had my cry; now, it’s time for vengeance.
I know it’s Christmas—we’re supposed to be wearing reds and greens and metallics, and I had that planned for tonight, but after today? Well, black it is. I can’t say it doesn’t look good, the pressed slacks and jacket fitting my body to a T. I have a black button up on too, making my green eyes pop, allowing the gold speckles to really shine too.
This is definitely have-your-boss-on-his-knees-begging material, if I do say so myself.
Thankfully, the cold compress and eye drops seemed to have done the trick, allowing my face to mellow out and depuffing me, like everything I’ve worked my ass off for the last two months didn’t come crumpling down today.
I just have to remind myself that, at the end of the day, I’m doing this for Becca. She’s been a great friend and an amazing resource throughout my time there. I wish her nothing but the best, even if her boss is a complete jack-wagon.
I get into my car, letting it warm up as I sit and think about my plans. Do I avoid him? Do I meticulously walk by and strut my stuff so he has to notice? Do I act like nothing has happened and stay at his beck and call, make him realize I’m an amazing assistant and he actually can’t do life without me?
