That one was nice.Kinder, almost.
I blink rapidly, forcing myself to focus on Levi. “I don’t. I just… need sleep.”
Yeah. That’s something I can do. Probably too well.
Then a thought hits so suddenly that my chesttightens.
What if I fall back intothatrhythm?
I’m terrified I’ll sink back into it with too much ease. Where I used to pass out during the day and wake up to the sunrise bleeding through my curtains. Existing in fragments between sedation and exhaustion.
Shit. I can’t afford to sleep 16-18 hours a day.
Not with everything going on.
My breathing picks up before I can stop it.
“Hey, hey, hey.” Levi’s grip tightens on my jaw gently. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I say too quickly. “Just… when are you holding the press conference?”
My redirection doesn’t soften his concern. Not even a little bit. But he lets me go with it anyway.
He sighs heavily. “I’ll be speaking to my lawyers tomorrow. About…”
About the clause,I finish in my rapidly freezing mind when he trails off.
“Once I have more information,” he continues, “I’ll set it up.”
I nod. But I don’t say anything after that.
And the silence that follows feels dangerous somehow.
Levi goes unnaturally still. I can feel it now. Or I’m suddenly allowing myself to. The restraint in him—the effort it’s taking not to panic.
His hands tremble slightly against my face. “Baby,” he says hoarsely. The sound seems to tear out of him. His throat works before he finally whispers. “Am I losing you?”
Is he?
Or did he already lose me with his lies?
The questions crack something open in my chest. Because I don’t know.
The Cece he knows… the one who loved him so fiercely it bordered on devotion, the one who understood him down to his core, the one who built entire futures around him without even realizing it—
She isn’t here right now.
Or maybe she is.
Maybe she’s buried underneath exhaustion, withdrawal, betrayal, and the terrifying numbness crawling through me.
I don’t know anymore.
I’ve never been in love while off my meds.
Hell, I’ve never been in love before him, period.
So, I don’t know what parts of me are real. What parts are chemistry. What parts are sickness.
