“And you still didn’t open up to him, even though he could’ve been exactly who you needed right then.” The corners of her lips fell. “I have a feeling he would’ve been.”
Yeah. He would’ve. Just like he had validated my experience that night in the truck. I didn’t have to put on a show for him. He didn’t judge me. We’d sat in solidarity together.
“That’s why, Gwen. That’s why we have to talk about our feelings, so we can unload our burdens together.” Her phone vibrated again. “Son of a bitch.”
I laughed. “Is one breakthrough enough for today? Someone clearly needs you more than I do.”
“Is that your way of sayingyouagree withme?”
I stood and headed for the door. “It’s my way of saying I see the points you’re making.”
“At least we made it that far.” A deep breath loosened her shoulders, but she smiled. “Get outta here, kid. But I still want you working on that poem!”
So far, the poem she wanted was still a blank sheet of paper.
As I left the rec center, it was the last thing on my mind. The heavy snowfall blurred around me and provided a blank canvas for my thoughts.
WhydidI get angry when I sat alone with Rhiannon? Was it all about the pressure of having to talk?
Whenever she brought up my mom, I braced for an attack. Most my life, when people talked about my mom, it was to attack. I understood why. She was an addict. Her priorities were often skewed. She existed in a realm of moral ambiguity.
Maybe that was why I defended her. Because she had been hurt enough, and I wanted to honor her memory. To me, she was good. To me, she was kind. She wasn’t a perfect mother, but who was?
And why didn’t I like talking about Troy? Because he was a chapter of my life I wanted to forget. One that made me sick to think back on. The things I’d tolerated, the things I should’ve reported to the police, the things I should’ve killed him for. It hurt my stomach and sent bile rising up my throat.
That was what made Rhiannon’s Ranch so appealing. Leaving that life behind and starting a new one. I knew we only did that for safety reasons, but?—
A police car.
An SUV, to be exact.
A police-car rolled past me.
Was this about Simone?
About David?
Until David, I had never seen a cop inside the ranch.
My stomach fell in my ass as they pulled to a stop before the rec center doors. I tried not to look, only sparing a few glancesover my shoulder. I still had a twenty-minute walk ahead of me. How long would they be in there, talking to Rhiannon?
If I slowed my speed, maybe I could get Edwards—if it was him—to roll down the window and tell me what was happening on his drive back out of the ranch.
Could I think of some excuse to stay close, so I could ask Rhiannon about it afterward? Maybe if I went to the cafeteria, or the gym, I could kill some time until they left, then find her after and ask what it was about.
But I didn’t have to.
I was just passing the daycare when I heard Rhiannon call, “Gwen, are you busy, sweetheart?”
It was so cold, so dark, that no one else was out and about. I had only made it a block away from where Rhiannon now stood.
Now, despite having wanted to know so badly what was going on, I was terrified to head back. What if she was calling for me because they had figured it out? What if they knew I killed David?
“Just heading home to take care of Honey,” I called back. “Everything okay?”
“I, um, I could just use your input right now.” Her voice was an octave higher than it had been earlier. I couldn’t make out her expression through the snow that fell between us. “Would you mind coming back?”
Did I really have a choice? What was my other option? Make a run for? If this was about me, if they believed I had killed David, wouldn’t they be the one chasing me?
This was something else. It had to be something else.
With a hard swallow, I started back in that direction. Once I was at the rec center doors, I opened my mouth to speak, but Rhiannon cut in first. Her voice was low. Quiet enough that Edwards and the suited man beside him on the far side of the entryway couldn’t hear.
“Delilah’s real name is Alison,” she said. “Alison Kennedy.”
