I rambled some more, just repeating that same sentiment over and over.
Delilah didn’t kill herself. It had to be her ex.
Simone kept agreeing with me all the way until we reached my front door. Then, as I reached for the handle, she grabbed my other hand. “Are you okay?”
I nodded out of instinct. But I was not okay.
“If you need me, just call.” Eyes filled with tears, she squeezed my hand. “I’ll leave Junie with Margaret, and I’ll be here. I’ll be here in a heartbeat.”
Swallowing hard, I nodded. “Thank you. You too.”
A nod of understanding. As I stepped from the car, she called, “Love you!”
“Love you too,” I said.
She waited until I was in the door to back out of my driveway.
Honey’s obnoxious barks filled my ears as I stepped through the threshold, but it sounded hollow. Muffled. I shut the door and collapsed to the hardwoods, my knees numb on the contact.
As I ran my fingers through Honey’s fur, more tears escaped my eyes, burning my icy cheeks.
Honey lapped at them.
Holding her helped. Feeling the soft, yet fluffy texture of her hair felt real. Most else didn’t, but she did.
The truth was, I didn’t want to be alone.
Phone in hand, I scrolled through my contacts. When I made it to his name, I pressed call. He came through on the third ring. “Hey, beautiful.”
My voice cracked again when I said, “Hey. Are you busy?”
“I’m never too busy for you,” Sebastian said. “Are you alright?”
I tried to breathe slowly, but the words came tumbling out. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m—I don’t know. I don’t know what I am. But I don’t wanna be alone. Can you come over? Shit, no you can’t.” I grabbed a fistful of hair at the back of my head. “Lizzie’s probably in bed. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called. I’m just?—”
“Hey, hey. Slow down, alright?” His voice was smooth, but firm. Grounding, like a stone softened by millennia of erosion. “Lizzie’s old enough to be alone for a while. I can come over. Or you can come to my place, if you want? I’ve been meaning to invite you over anyway.”
That sounded nice. Maybe a drive would be nice. “Can I bring Honey?”
“I’d expect nothing less.”
