She didn’t shudder. No wince either. Just a frown of the same solidarity. Understanding. “They usually don’t.”
“So, did you have any other romantic relationships?” I dug around in the paper bag for a napkin. When I found one, I wiped my mouth with it. “Outside of him.”
“A couple. But it’s your turn.” Gwen grabbed her soda and tucked herself against the door. Legs crossed lotus style in the passenger seat, she slurped away. “Go on. Tell me about your dating history.”
I chuckled. “Not much to tell, really. Had my first girlfriend during my senior year of high school. I was still the weird, dorky kid, but I got contacts and gained a little weight. We were too young to understand what love was.” I swiveled in my seat as well, propping one knee against the steering wheel and tucking the other underneath me. “We thought we were going to stay together when we went to college. Over winter break, she let me know she’d cheated, so that was the end of that.”
“Ouch.”
“Second girlfriend was a rebound, right after I broke up with the first. She was cool? Edgy, exciting. We painted together, she had blue hair and a vinyl collection—you know the type.”
Air lighter now, Gwen’s smile returned. “Sounds like my kind of people. What happened there?”
“She was just a little too eccentric. Asked to open the relationship, and I had to duck out.”
“As a monogamous myself, I can respect it.”
“We stayed friends though.” I took a sip from my paper cup. “We still wish each other happy birthday on Facebook.”
“Amicable.”
“I think so.”
“So, anyone after her?” She took the last air-filled slurp of her soda.
I passed her the rest of mine, chest warm when she grinned her thanks. “One more. But I think it’s your turn again.”
There went the joy in her eyes. Slowly returning the soda to its holder, she nibbled on her bottom lip. “Your relationship stories are all so normal and suburban. Mine are a lot messier.”
I gestured to the disaster that was my truck. “I don’t mind a mess.”
The tilt at the corner of her lips didn’t come close to reaching her eyes. Eventually, she exhaled. “I was twelve when I met my only other boyfriend. He was sixteen, I want to say?”
My stomach turned, and I did my damnedest to school my expression.
I remembered being sixteen. Twelve and sixteen were very different numbers. Sure, in ten years, a four-year age gap wasn’t a huge stretch. Gwen and I were five years apart, but mentally, we were in the same headspace. We were both adults. Our development had reached a certain plateau.
Twelve-year-olds had barely hit puberty, if they had at all. Sixteen-year-olds were deciding between college and the job force.
That was why I didn’t allow Lizzie to date anyone older than her.
“I know.” Gwen cupped a hand over her face. There was no hiding the shudder that coursed down her spine. “I know how bad that is now. How gross he was for even looking at me. But he did a lot worse than that, so.” Another shudder, followed by a harsh clearing of her throat. “Anyway, that was a really bad relationship too. Just in a different way. Some of the same ways, I guess? But it doesn’t matter. It was a long time ago. I’ve blocked out most of it. I only remember bits and pieces.”
I wished that my brain’s defense mechanism worked like that. I hadn’t forgotten a single thing my dad did. Every fight,every broken piece of furniture, every mark on my mom’s, my sister’s, or my skin, was forever etched into my memory.
Not to say that made it easier for Gwen. But maybe it would’ve made it easier for me.
“Anyway.” A big smile, this one playful. “Tell me about your other failed relationship.”
I snorted and rubbed the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger. “Her name was Ashley.”
“Ashley.” Gwen wiggled her brows. “Sexy.”
Unsure if I should laugh or grimace at that, I did some combination of the two. “Yeah, I don’t know. I was in a really bad place when we met. Sarah had just died. My parents were raising Lizzie, and they wanted me to come home. I wanted to, to be there for my niece, but it was midsemester. I couldn’t just leave. And then Ashley asked me out, and we fell hard, and we fell fast.
“Year or two later, I got a call. The doctors were vague. Just said that my parents were in an accident. Made sure to tell me to get on the first flight out. It was early December, and Ashley and I were already planning on coming up here for Christmas. But she couldn’t move her flight up. Which was understandable. Then I was here, at my parents’ deathbeds, and she decided to go to her family’s for Christmas instead.”
Gwen’s face screwed up in confusion, head cocked to the side. “Wait, she just completely bailed on you?”
