“Sorry,” I said. “I feel sorry for her.”
“Why is that?”
“Because her life sucked. Her dad was abusive, and her mom did nothing to stop it. She ran away from home when she was fifteen. Then she got pregnant with me, by a man who wasn’t much different than her dad.” My tone was sharp, abrupt. “And that sucks. It sucks her life was as hard as it was.”
“That does suck.” Rhiannon propped her elbow on the armrest, cupping her chin in her palm. “Do you feel the same way about the way she raised you? Sorry?”
This time, it was more of an annoyed huff. “I feel like she did the best she could.”
“Not a feeling, Gwen.”
“I don’t resent her for it. She wasn’t a perfect mother, but she loved me, and she did everything she could for me.”
“I believe that.”
“Then what’s the point here?” I threw my arms in the air. “I don’t blame my mom for my marriage. I made my own choices. The trauma from it, having to leave it behind, that’s on me.”
“You’re right,” she said. “Those were your choices.”
“Then what, Rhiannon? How does talking about my mom help me with anything?”
“I didn’t say it would help you.” Rhiannon crossed her legs and settled into her seat. “It’d helpmeunderstand you. But if you don’t want to talk about her, we won’t. Let’s talk about something more recent.”
“Like Troy?” His name tasted like vomit on my tongue.
A hint of a smile teased the corner of her lip. “If you want to.”
“I’d rather not.”
“Nothing in particular you’d like to talk about?”
“Not really, no.” Dropping one foot to the ground, I leaned back into the cushions. “I don’t really get why I’m in here at all. One-on-one therapy with you is for the girls who are really struggling, and I’m not. I’ve been here for almost a year. I’m fine. As soon as I got away from that son of a bitch, I was fine.”
“I believe thatyoubelieve that. But to say that you’re fine, that you don’t need therapy, is to say that your psyche is completely normal. That you’re a perfect human being who does no wrong, ever. Is that what you believe?”
My shoulders slumped, voice softening. “No. Of course not.”
“Good. We’re on the same page.” She did her best to contain it, but irritation tinged her voice. “So if you don’t have anything in particular that you’d like to talk about, my next question is, how are things going with Sebastian?”
“Perfect. Fine.” I shrugged. “No complaints, really.”
“What about Sebastian? Does he have any complaints?”
“Not to my knowledge.” I pinched my brows. “Has he complained to you about anything?”
“No, he says the same thing you just did. Everything’s perfect, everything’s fine.” Watching me carefully, she raised a shoulder. “That’s good. I’m happy for you two.”
“Why did you say it like that?”
“How did I say it?”
“Nonchalant. Like you do feel some kind of way about it, but you’re trying to cover it up with a nonchalant attitude.”
“That’s how you talk about it. Is that how you feel about your relationship? Nonchalant?”
“No,” I said. “I’m really happy with him. There’s nothing I would change, even if I could.”
“Nothing at all?”
