Jonny had brought some of his cookies into training once and I’d split a white chocolate sprinkle one with Bailey. It’d been fucking amazing. The sort of cookie that ruined all other ones forever. I didn’t eat a lot of sweets, didn’t always think they were worth it, but I’d do a lot of things for another one of those cookies.
“Did it go okay? How’re you feeling?” Bailey asked.
“Yeah, it was fine actually. We talked about gaming. I told him you yell at me while I playHades.”
“I don’t yell at you! I yell at the game. That’s different.”
“I guess.” I shot him a grin. He was worried about me, he always was when we were measured, and I understood why. But I didn’t want him to worry. He already did enough of that.“Do you think next time Aiden comes to visit he’d bring me a cookie?”
“What?” Bailey did a comical double take, staring at me like I’d suddenly grown another head.
“Yeah, one of those white chocolate ones. With the rainbow sprinkles. I think I’d really like one.”
“Oh… yeah, okay. Want me to order you some?”
“Maybe? Would that be weird?”
“No, why would it?”
“Dunno.” I shrugged. I didn’t know how to word all the feelings bouncing around in my chest. There were too many of them to even name. And I wasn’t even sure I wanted to know what they all were, because then I’d have to consider acknowledging them.
“It’s his business,” Bailey said. “I’m sure he’d like it if we ordered. We’d be supporting him, y’know?”
“Yeah, that’s true.” I frowned. “Do you even know what it’s called? His business.”
“No, but we can ask him.” He was still looking at me closely, worried lines appearing on his forehead. “Are you sure you’re alright? Did something happen with Stevie? Do you need?—”
I put my hand on his shoulder and squeezed, feeling the solid muscle under my fingers. “I’m fine, seriously. I don’t like doing that shit, but it’s done now and there’s a good chance I can stay on the same programme as last season.”
“Okay. That’s good.” He sounded cautiously relieved. But he didn’t look it. “Do you want to get some lunch?”
“Yeah, probably should.” I was a little hungrier now, and while I didn’t feel totally up to eating, Bailey would worry more if I didn’t. And I didn’t want to upset him. As much as he tried to hide it, these days were hard for him too because he was hyper-alert, watching me like a hawk in case something happened.
I hated how much I made him worry, but I didn’t know how to stop him. Telling him not to worry only seemed to make it worse. Like he thought I was covering something up.
Maybe I needed to distract him. And as much as I wanted to drag him into the toilets and suck his dick, that wasn’t going to work. Not in the middle of the day.
And it would bring up a lot of the feelings I was trying to avoid.
That only left one other option. I shot him a grin over my shoulder as I pushed open the canteen door. “Hey, remember when we were in Ibiza a couple of years ago and you fell in that hotel pool trying to catch a Lapras?”
