Would I really do that to Darcy because I couldn’t open myself up to be vulnerable?
Apparently, I would.
The realisation was like a punch in the gut, almost making me double over as I reeled with my own selfishness.
I stood barefoot on the pavement, halfway down the road, watching as orange and pink light spilled across the sky and dusted the horizon with gold. Part of me wanted to move, to do something. The rest of me didn’t know how. It was too stunned by the revelations, like my body was frozen by a glitching piece of software.
“Owen.” The way Darcy said my name was like another punch. He sounded so fucking sad, and I couldn’t bear it.
Had I made anyone that sad before?
Probably.
I’d just always left before I’d seen the consequences of my actions, blissfully ignorant of what I’d done.
“I’m sorry,” he said and I turned to see him hovering behind me, his shoulders hunched and sadness etched into his face so deeply I wondered if it would ever come out. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“It’s not you,” I said, wishing I knew how to take a step towards him. “It’s me.”
“I know you don’t plan on staying. It’s not who you are. And you don’t have to come back if you don’t want to. Just… I know it’s selfish of me to ask but don’t forget me? Please? I won’t forget you.”
“I could never forget you, angel.”
“Really?”
“Of course not.” I took a shaking step towards him. “I’m so sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologise,” he said. “I always knew it would end this way. I… I shouldn’t have gotten so attached. It’s my fault, really.”
I frowned, completely lost by what he was saying. “What? Why?”
“You said at the start you’d be leaving at the end of your contract—you’ve always been clear you never stay. That this… what we were doing… it was only for the summer. I knew that was the case, but I did it anyway.”
“Did what?”
“Fall for you,” he said sadly, his voice cracking slightly. “So this… I did this to myself. I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable.”
“N-No, angel. No! This is not on you,” I said, taking another step towards him as my head spun. Shit, what had I done?
No, fuck, not this. I hadn’t meant for this to happen. Had I?
“It’s okay. Please, don’t worry about me.” He slid past me, slipping out of my hands like a ghost. “I’m really glad I met you, Owen. And I’m sorry.”
“Darcy, please. Wait! I can explain.”
“You don’t need to. It’s okay.” He smiled and I felt my heart shatter. “Goodbye, Owen.”
He walked away and all I could do was watch, reeling from the fallout. Finally, for the first time, facing the consequences of my selfishness.
Something I couldn’t blame on anyone but myself.
What the fuck had I done?
And how the fuck did I fix it?
Chapter Eighteen
Darcy
