She felt his fingers flex around hers, and though they didn’t stop their slow pace, Ryan’s head cocked to the side, looking at her. “Kinda figured you wouldn’t keep me around as much as you did if you didn’t like me a little, sweetheart.”
“I really like you.” She made sure that he understood. “I’ve always liked you. I like you right now since meeting you again. And I liked you during the time apart. I never forgot you, Ryan. I’ve always regretted how I broke up with you. But I’ll get to that in a minute.” She finally took a breath.
“Brave girl.” He said, lifting their clasped hands to kiss the back of hers. “So far, I like where this is going. Does this mean you’re gonna date me finally?”
“I am,” she admitted, and her chest fluttered when Ryan smiled.
“You’re gonna be my girlfriend officially?”
Lisa pulled a little, scrunched face. “I’m forty-two, too old to be called a girlfriend, aren’t I?”
“My woman then. Just be mine.”
Oh, to be his woman officially, yeah, she thought. That sounded too good to be true. But when she’d once been too cowardly to commit herself to Ryan, she was no longer that woman and wanted to have a future with him more than anything else.
They veered off, crossing the quiet street to reach the park gate. They walked down a long path lined with benches to the playground.
Once there, they didn’t stop walking, just meandering around the empty playground, holding hands. Having the most important conversation of her life amongst the swing sets and climbing frames. Which didn’t look like any kind of death-trap climbing frame from her childhood. And where was the fifty-foot-high slide that would burn the back of her thighs in the dead of summer?
“Have you thought about me over the years?” he asked suddenly.
She canted her head to the side, watching him openly without taking sly glances like she’d been doing over the weeks.
“If I say no?”
“Then it’s a no.”
Lisa smiled and rubbed the top of his hand. “I thought about you too much. Wondering how your life was. Or if you were happy and settled. If you had a wife or children.”
“Kids aren’t for me, sweetheart. I like ‘em and all, but I never wanted to be a dad.”
“Oh,” she said, so relieved she visibly puffed out a breath and then lightly chuckled. “That at least covers one thing I wanted to check with you before we became official.”
“What do you mean? We’re already official now, as soon as you told me you liked me. It’s biker law.” The rogue dared to send a wink her way.
“I’m sure I’ll come up against these mysteriously made-up biker laws, won’t I?” she went on. “I don’t want babies either, Ryan. If you wanted to be a father, there wouldn’t be any point in us trying to make a life together.”
“Thank fuck you don’t. How do you feel about dogs?”
She frowned, confused by the switch in topic. “Um. I like them. Cats, too. Most animals, really. I always wanted a bunny run in the backyard when I was growing up, but my parents wouldn’t let me.”
“Okay. Sometime down the line, we’ll fill the house we share with some pets. You good with that?”
Her heart floated. He was already talking about living together. This guy was going to make her dizzy every day with how honestly he shared his feelings.
But that was what she was aching for, she realized.
A man who didn’t make her guess his feelings, was always upfront and not afraid to be vulnerable in a relationship. “Yeah, I am good with that.” Her smile felt like an ache in her cheeks. “And, um... I’m pretty sure another marriage isn’t for me. Will that be a deal-breaker for you?”
“Sweetheart,” he said so roughly, yet full of sweetness, that Lisa wasn’t afraid of his answer. Not with the way Ryan was looking at her unwaveringly. He wanted to be with her. “You could confess to being the unsolved mysterious serial killer from Buffalo, and it still wouldn’t be a deal breaker, you get me? Are you a bigamist? Not a deal-breaker. I’d just get rid of the others, so I’m number one.” He flashed her favorite kind of smirk, and she felt her belly swoop from side to side, giddy. “The only deal-breaker for me would be if you looked at another guy.”
That was easy enough to clear up. “I’m so violently attracted to you that if I allow myself to feel it, I’m afraid it will consume me. I wouldn’t have time to think about another man, not when you’ve been present in my mind all this time.”
She was surprised when Ryan buried his face in her neck. His cold cheek made her jump, but she didn’t move as he kissed her racing pulse.
“Be consumed in me, sweetheart. It’s no less what I feel, too.”
“I’ve been content being by myself these past few years, Ryan, and doing what I wanted. Compromising in a relationship again? I’m not sure I can do that. So, can you be patient with me?”
