Fiona kissed my nose. “I accept your apology, but you don’t need to worry so much. I don’t think this is a bad thing. We can all go to the Omega Center and meet with new pack services and get all this sorted. That’s why they’re there.”
“Oh, that is an excellent idea, Puddin’.” I’m sure they knew exactly how to handle this.
Carlos nodded. “That sounds perfect.”
“Still, I crossed a line I shouldn’t have.” They had no idea the true implications of what I’ve done. Everyone was going to be so disappointed in me, too.
I’d been warned, yet here I was.
“Dusty, how did you get through all of this unscathed? Did you just stay downstairs and cook for us?” I didn’t remember him in the room at all, not that I recalled much.
But sometimes there was someone in the pack who wasn’t intimate with whoever was going into heat. Usually, they made sure everyone had food and water, and that the house didn’t burn down.
“Dusty bonded me,” Saoirse said.
“He did?” Fiona giggled. “Amazing! We’re having a big-ass mating party. The best Boston–and New York–has seen.”
“Hale’s sister got married in a castle in Greece and it was insane, so yeah, let’s go!” Carlos exclaimed.
“I’m pretty sure you went into a rut, Hale,” Dusty added. “Also, I may have been in the room, but I don’t think I did much other than her.” He nuzzled Saoirse’s neck.
I’d gone into a rut? Shit. I didn’t remember that either.
“Why don’t we shower and get this place cleaned up a bit. We can talk about this more later,” Saoirse suggested.
“You know, I could use a shower. It might be nice to go for a little walk and get some fresh air, too,” Carlos said. “Maybe get the snowmobile out of the living room and the car off the porch before the lodge complains?”
“That sounds like a good idea to me,” I said, still trying to keep my emotions in check.
Clean up, take a shower, put things away. Those were all good concrete things I could focus on–instead of on how badly I just fucked up the lives of two really sweet people.
Carlos leaned into me, giving me reassurance, and I sent care back to both him and Fiona. It wasn’t their fault they were stuck with me.
And they shouldn’t be.
I played with Fiona’s hair, which was stiff and crunchy.
“Your hair needs to be washed,” I told her.
She laughed. “Shower me, Alpha?”
“I’d love to,” I agreed. Yeah, I could handle that.
“Both of you could probably use a shave,” she added.
Fiona led the two of us into the shower attached to her room. I gently washed both of them–scrubbing off all the bodily fluids, washing their hair, and letting them know that they mattered to me. They were wonderful and special. Hopefully they’d understand that the fact that I couldn’t stay with them had nothing to do with them, and everything to do with the fact that I wasn’t a good choice.
Not only did I bring nothing to the pack, but I’d breached their trust by accidentally bonding them. How could you have a life after that?
I toweled them off and went with Carlos back to the bunkroom to get our clothes. Going into the bathroom, I shaved.
Carlos came in, dressed. “I should do that. I'm going to see if I can get my phone to charge.”
“I should check my phone and make sure my siblings don’t think I’m dead,” I replied, finishing up.
“At least mine know that something happened to my phone.” Carlos left, shutting the door behind him.
Panic still raged inside me as I got dressed and went back into thebunkroom. I needed to call a grown-up to help me unfuck this, but I wasn’t sure who to call. Okay, I was an adult, but I needed an adultier adult, preferably a non-judgmental alpha.
