“Don’t,” he said quietly.
He wasn’t sure what he was asking Noah not to do.
Noah walked across the room and grabbed the back of Piper’s neck, hard, and the kiss left Piper numb. This kiss was somebody who had won a football game three hours ago and had been thinking about the man who lost it since the final whistle and was not going to be gentle about any of it.
Piper put his hands on Noah’s chest, not to stop him, to hold him there, and Noah took both of Piper’s wrists and pinned them to the cedar wall above his head with one hand, and he didn’t pull away.
“You left me,” Noah said, into Piper's ear.
“I know.”
“You read me a fucking press release.”
“I know.”
“Say it again.”
“I know.”
Noah kissed him again. Harder now.
This was not the sex they had been having.
This was not grief. This was something else, something neither of them had planned to have.
They were not going to talk.
The sauna was 180 degrees. Their bodies were hot and starting to perspire. Piper’s wrists were above his head, and Noah’s mouth was at the base of his throat, and the door could be opened by anyone who tried, and they both knew that, and yet they did not stop.
Noah kept Piper’s wrists pinned above his head with one hand and worked his fingers around Piper’s nipples as his cock pulsed hard enough that it hurt. Noah’s mouth was on his neck. Noah’s teeth on his collarbone. The wood at Piper’s back was hot enough to hurt, and Piper didn’t care, because he felt alive.
Noah said, quietly and viciously, “You don’t get to do this to me and then disappear.”
“I know.”
“Say something other than I know.”
Piper said, “I never wanted to.”
“Didn’t want to what?”
“Disappear, to leave you.”
Noah looked at him.
“Then why did you?”
“Because…”
“Because why, Piper?”
Piper closed his eyes. “Because I didn’t know what else to do. Because he can hurt you. Because if I stayed with you, he would end both of us, and at least this way…”
“At least this way what?”
“At least this way he only ends me.”
Noah stopped. He was still holding Piper’s wrists. Piper could feel the pulse in Noah’s thumb.
