My heart cracks wide open, and I nearly start crying all over again. He looks exhausted. Not angry like I expected, or cold, or like he’s going to shut me out. Just… wrecked. Like he hasn’t slept properly in days.
I wrap an arm around myself and slow down unconsciously. Holden still hasn’t moved toward me, but his eyes never leave mine either. Is this still him giving me space, or does he genuinely not want to talk to me? Dammit, I hate that I can’t read him. I used to know what he was thinking without even a hint.
I glance toward the tents scattered around the field as a horrible realization hits me. I don’t know which one is ours, or if I’m even welcome in his.
My throat tightens.Keep it together.
I set my bags carefully beside one of the picnic tables instead. I guess if Holden doesn’t want me, I can squeeze in with the kids in the loft. Jocelyn would love that anyway.
A few people say hi as I move through the group, but everything feels distant and strange beneath Holden’s gaze. I hug my mom and talk to her for a minute, then hug Laura.
Hattie keeps looking between Holden and me like she knows something’s wrong, which honestly makes me want to throw myself directly into the campfire. Did he tell her?
My stomach growls loudly enough that Holden’s mom immediately notices.
“Oh, honey, have you eaten at all?”
“Uh… no, not really.”
Vicky scrambles to her feet and finds me a cold leftover hamburger to warm by the fire. Honestly, I’m hungry enough I could eat it cold.
I won’t, but I could.
“Thanks.”
She hands me a bag of chips and a couple of water bottles too. “Here. Take this to Holden,” she adds, quieter now. “I haven’t seen him eat or drink anything all evening. He must not be feeling good.”
The comment cuts deeper than I expect.
No, of course he’s not feeling good. His heart is broken.
I take the water bottles automatically, knowing avoiding Holden would just raise questions.
Holden finally looks away as I get closer, and he barely glances at me as I sit beside him on the log. The space between us is painful. I hate it instantly.
“Hi,” I say softly.
Holden finally looks at me fully, and I nearly gasp. The pain in his eyes knocks the air straight from my lungs.
Oh.
Oh God.
Is this what he’s looked like all week?
Guilt twists brutally in my chest.
I start to reach for him, then stop, not sure if he’d want me to touch him.
Shaken, I set the hamburger on the fire ring to warm up. It should only take a couple of minutes. Fixing Holden and me, though? That’s gonna take a lot longer. Where do I even begin?
“Korie, look!” Jocelyn appears beside me, holding up a light-up yo-yo.
Normally, I’d match her energy. Tonight, the best I can manage is a weak smile. “That’s awesome, lovebug.”
“Wanna play?”
“Let’s do it tomorrow, okay? I’m kinda tired.”
