She pouts dramatically, but gives me a hug before sprinting off again.
I test the hamburger, then finish it off in three bites. Around the fire, someone passes out marshmallows and roasting sticks. Pure instinct has me reaching for one. I roast it slowly before holding it toward Holden, charred exactly how he likes it.
Holden hesitates. Then quietly shakes his head.
My heart sinks.
I swallow hard, tears stinging my eyes. I immediately blink them back. Marshmallows are always our thing during this trip.
I stare at the gooey blob for another second before deciding I don’t have the stomach for it either. I burn it off, then scrape the marshmallow off the stick.
Wiping my eyes, I risk another glance at Holden. He’s hunched forward, hands clasped as he stares into the embers. The tightness in his shoulders and the emptiness in him are like nothing I’ve ever seen before. I ache to touch him, but I’m not sure I have any right to.
One by one, people start peeling away for the night, nestling down in tents or disappearing into the cabin. The fire burns lower and conversations soften around us.
My pulse starts climbing again.
It’s now or never.
I turn toward him slowly, leaning in. “Can we talk? Please?”
Holden looks at me for one terrible second before standing like he’s going to leave.
My stomach drops and I let out a sharp, quiet gasp.Fuck.
Then he glances at me and tips his head toward the trees in a silentcome on.
Relief crashes through me so hard I almost cry.
I stand immediately and follow him into the dark.
26
HOLDEN
The gravel crunches beneath our boots as we walk to the trees. The voices fade the farther we get from the fire. I slow down when we reach the creek, not trusting myself to go any further without a flashlight. When I glance back, I know we’re far enough away we won’t be overheard.
Korie is right beside me, arms folded across their chest, like they’re bracing for something.
I keep my hands in my pockets. Otherwise, I’d have to touch them. It’s driving me crazy to be this close and not have them in my arms.
“Holden, I—”
I hold a hand up. “Let me go first.”
Korie bristles, but slowly nods.
I take a steadying breath. “I’ve been thinking about this all day, trying to find the right way to say it.”
A faint whiff of their floral shampoo hits me and I lose some of my composure. “Do you remember when we were seven and we found that sled in the forest by my parents’ old house?”
Korie seems surprised I’d bring that up. They slowly nod.
“I was so sure we could make it home on that thing, but you were too afraid to even get on it.”
Korie doesn’t move.
“You just kept looking toward the house and back at me, and there was so much fear in your eyes, Kor. But then…” I pause, throat tightening. “Then you climbed on, right in front of me, and said if there was ever anyone you trusted, it’s me.”
