Their slow-growing smile is full of mischief. “That’s torture for you, isn’t it?”
“Yes.”
Korie snickers, bumping me. “You can do it. I believe in you.”
I roll my eyes.
Fuck. They’re serious. They want me to wait a week and build up the courage again?
But maybe with more time I can be better prepared for the next one. This one went well only because of luck and Korie’s spontaneity.
Korie is still watching me. “Why do you do that, anyway?”
“What?”
“Rush things.”
The question catches me off guard, and I have to think about it. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m afraid if too much time passes, something will change.”
Korie considers that. “But that’s the test, isn’t it? Allowing time to pass to see if the connection is still there?”
Hattie had said something similar to me a few years ago, and it had grated on my nerves. When Korie says it, though, it lands softer.
I turn it back around to them. “What about you? You stopped giving people a chance at all.”
Korie presses their lips together in a thoughtful line, then turns to look out at the city. “It’s more that they never givemethe chance, Holden.”
Their honesty stumps me. “What do you mean?”
When they don’t speak, I cover their hand with mine. “Tell me.”
Korie sighs and pulls away, folding their hands in their lap. “Guys check out before the meal is even over,” they say quietly. “Every time. It’s like they realize my gender fluidity isn’t for attention and that it’s real—it’s who I am—and they, I don’t know, decide it’s too weird for them or something. They don’t want it.”
My heart clenches. What they’re really saying is they don’t wantKorie.
“Is that why you stopped dating?”
They don’t answer.
I shift closer, wrapping an arm around their shoulders. Korie leans in without hesitation.
“Well, they’re missing out because tonight was amazing.” I keep my tone light, afraid they might hear the raw honesty in that statement.
Korie hums. “Yeah. It actually wasn’t a disaster. Imagine that.”
“Right? Imagine that.”
I stare out at the horizon, my arm still around them, a little too aware of how close we are.
Tonight was… something.
Something I can’t quite name.
Something completely unexpected.
And something I already want again, even if I’m too afraid to examine why.
9
