“But I’ll see you Sunday?”
“Yeah, I’ll be there.”
We hang up, and the warmth of the phone settles into my fingertips. Dropping my head back, I close my eyes and bite back a curse. What is wrong with me? Why am I suddenly aching for more time with Holden? I’ve never been this way.
Richard’s deeply pained voice comes to mind.Still, it wasn’t long enough.
I rub my chest. This is exactly why I don’t date. It makes me examine things too closely. See things that aren’t really there. It’s confusing and messy and just…no.
I don’t want this—least of all with Holden. So why am I feeling this way?
Idon’twant to date anyone.
Idon’twant Holden.
I don’t.
… Do I?
10
HOLDEN
“Holden, watch out!”
Declan’s voice cuts through the room like a siren, making my blood pressure spike.
I’ve got one hand on the wall, fingers curled over a hold I’ve used a hundred times, and I still managed to miss the next one by half an inch.
“Dammit.”
My foot slips. I catch myself before I drop, but it’s sloppy.
“Seriously, dude. What is with you tonight?” Declan calls.
I shouldn’t be this distracted. It’s embarrassing, honestly. I’m never like this.
Glancing down, I see Declan in the middle of the padded floor, arms crossed and looking up at me like I’ve lost my mind. Maybe I have.
“It’s like you’re just flirting with the wall instead of climbing it,” he says.
“Fuck off. I’m climbing just fine,” I shoot back.
“Could’ve fooled me.” He exchanges a look with his husband.
“What happened to our coach?” Seth taunts.
I readjust my grip, biceps straining. “Oh, you want to play that way, do you? You wanna come up here and show me how it’s done then, genius?”
Declan guffaws. “Gladly.”
Pushing up, I reach again—this time slower and more deliberate. I grip the hold cleanly, and I take a moment to rest my arms. My muscles settle into the movement, familiar and automatic, but my head’s still not in it. It hasn’t been all afternoon.
Which is the problem.
While my attention should be on my next move, instead it’s on the front door, fifty feet below.Focus, dumbass.
I pull myself up another level, then another, finishing the route with less grace than usual. I heave a breath as I climb onto the ledge, and take a second before dropping down to the mat.
