Korie’s arms loosen, but they don’t drop completely. The pain in their eyes never lessens. It almost intensifies. Like they’d expected this. “So you see me in a new way and your first instinct is to bolt?”
“Yeah. I mean no! Not like that. Not how you’re thinking. I left because I didn’t know what to do with it. Not because it was a problem.” I touch their arm, relieved when they don’t pull away. “It’snota problem, Kor. It never has been.”
It’s not a lie—except it also is. It’s a big problem now. Damn my traitorous body.
“The problem is me. I’m the one being weird about it.”
Korie cracks a tiny smile, raising their brows as if to say,ya think?
I groan. “I’m not saying this right.”
“Just tell me what you mean, Holden. Because all I saw was you running away after seeing me with a pair of women’s underwear.” The hurt tone reminds me this is not the first time someone reacted that way.
“That’s exactly it.” I take another step closer without crowding them. “I’ve known about it for years, but it didn’t…affectme before today. It just clicked something inside of me, you know? Made me… see you differently.” My cheeks get hot again.
Korie barely moves, eyes still darting between mine.
“You hear what I’m saying?”
“I’m trying to,” they say.
“I saw you holding them and all I knew was something’s different now. Really different. So we should do it again.”
Korie blinks. “I’m sorry, do… what exactly?”
I jerk my chin toward the door. “Let’s go out again.”
The pause as they process what I said is almost comical.
“Oh my God. You’re giving me whiplash, Holden.”
I hold a hand up. “I mean it. I want to take you out again.”
Their brows pull together. “Why, though?”
They’re clearly on edge now. Protective. And I can’t even blame them. One second I’m running away from them in the women’s lingerie department, and the next I’m asking them out on a date.
But no. I’ve been thinking about this since before today. I just didn’t quite understand it until now. This isn’t a strange new curiosity about Korie. It’s desire. Real, honest desire.
I want them.
I swallow hard. “Because I really enjoyed the first one,” I say softly. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and I want to do it again.”
Korie goes very still. Their eyes drop for a second, and they turn away, thinking. When they look up again, they pause, as if trying to understand where all this is coming from.
“Would it still be fake?”
I don’t answer right away, too afraid to say what I really want to.
“It can be, if that’s what you want.”
Korie doesn’t react, giving me no clue what they’re thinking. They exhale slowly, as if weighing something. Maybe trying to decide if they can trust me with their most true self. They always have, but after today, we both know there are parts of each other we’ve kept private.
I really,reallywant to know those parts of Korie. But they have to trust me with them first.
Finally, after a long few seconds, they nod. “Okay. Yeah.”
A grin breaks out over my face. “Yeah?”
