Korie smiles. “Yeah. I’ll go on a date with you.”
I place my other hand on their arm, resisting the urge to pull them in for a hug. “Okay. Good. I just—I don’t know when yet. Let me figure out the details. But soon. I want to go soon.”
Korie nods. “Okay.”
Neither of us moves, but the air is different now. A little more relaxed, thank God.
Now if I can only keep from screwing this up again.
13
KORIE
It takes two weeks for Holden to finalize his plans for our… date. Fake date? Shit, I don’t even know.
I don’t know why I agreed to it either, except that a tug in my heart was begging me to lean in. Trust.
Now, the date is set, and the X on my calendar is glaring at me like a notification. Or a warning.
I’m trying desperately not to think about it all. If I do, I worry, or just… freak out. I mean, what is even happening? Holden and I… dating?
He picks me up on a Saturday afternoon, dressed nicely in khaki shorts and a red shirt that Iknowhe didn’t buy for himself. Is Hattie in on this? No, of course not. She’d be pestering me with texts and phone calls every day if she knew something was happening between us.
Holden drives us to an outdoor amphitheater just outside of San Diego. “Come on.”
He grabs a large, fluffy comforter from the trunk and carefully hides something underneath it as we walk inside. The attendant scans our tickets on Holden’s phone, then we continue on toward the grassy area near the stage.
Saying nothing, he crouches to unfold the blanket, taking his time to flatten out the edges. The late afternoon light is catching in his hair like it always does—little flecks of gold hidden in the blond. I’ve always loved Holden’s hair, even envied his natural highlights. It’s so much prettier than my natural dull brown, which is why I dye it.
I turn slightly to look around, nerves bubbling up inside me. There is still a part of me that doesn’t believe this is real. A part of me that is screaming to run. Not because I don’t want to be here—that’s the problem. I want this too much. How did I go from not wanting to date to wanting this so bad my heart aches?
Will it still be fake?
It can be, if you want it to be.
Ugh. What kind of answer is that? He lost fifty points and he doesn’t even know it.
But this? Holy crap, this is winning all them back and then some…
I turn slowly, taking in the large trees lining the back of the amphitheater, the brightly colored flowers along the paths, the tiered, reserved seating areas. It’s all so beautiful.
Maybe it’s a good thing he didn’t give me a clear answer. If he had, I would’ve found a reason to back out. Because the truth is, both answers—real or fake—feel equally dangerous. One means risking something new with someone who means everything to me. The other means wanting something I can’t have. It’s terrifying.
I don’t know what to think. Holden and I once walked on solid ground. I knew exactly where things stood with our friendship. But now, it’s like I’m balancing on a knife, and no matter which way I lean, I’m going to end up hurt. Old habits are kicking in, and an awareness I wish I didn’t have keeps screaming at me, dragging my attention away from the moment. I’m trying to tame it.
What matters is we’re here, and it’s already blowing my expectations—my hopes—out of the water.
Shifting my weight, I scuff my sandals lightly in the grass.
Holden struggles to flatten the last corner of the soft blue quilt. When he finally does, he looks up at me with an exasperated huff. I nearly chuckle. It’s like he fought a dragon for me or something.
Then again, for Holden, thisisa hero’s journey. I just never imagined I’d be the prize.
He holds a hand out to me. “Join me?”
As I sit, I’m suddenly very aware of everything—my soft dress brushing my legs, my anklet catching in the sun, the slow way Holden’s gaze flicks over me and lingers just a second too long.
That gaze hits entirely different from other men I’ve dated. So, so very different.
