I grip the counter.
“Don’t,” I whisper, even as my hips shift slightly. The cool pressure of the tiled counter is exquisite. I go up on my toes as lust pulses through me.Fuck, Holden…
I slant my head, imagining Holden kissing up to my ear, pinning me with his weight. I draw in my lower lip, sliding ahand down my stomach and over my rapidly hardening cock. I squeeze myself, skin tingling.
Holden wants this just as much as I do. He wouldn’t care if I fantasized about him… right?
Walking to my mattress, I lie down and flatten both palms against my chest. I move them down my stomach to my hips, resting at the waistband of my underwear. My breath hitches as I close my eyes. If Holden was here with me, he’d crawl over me, grinning as he kissed me. I’d turn my head to the side, inviting him to kiss down my throat. I imagine him lying on top of me, grinding our hips together.
“Oh, fuck,” I mutter.
My right hand drifts lower, almost unconsciously. Chasing that warmth, that pressure… that delicious, dangerous curiosity of what it would be like to have sex with him. Biting my lip, I pull one knee up and touch myself through the thin material. The heat is immediate and intense, simmering throughout my body.
I groan and arch my back as my cock swells, stretching the lace. It’s been weeks since I’ve done this. Even longer since I’ve felt any real level of desire. It’s burning now, unstoppable.
A whimper escapes me when I sweep a thumb under the fabric to touch myself. Instinctively, I roll my hips, and the delicate fabric slips down my cock as it springs free. I curl a hand around my length, imagining if it were Holden’s calloused hand around me. Precum dribbles down the side, easing the friction, but I need more.
Scrambling further onto the bed, I dig out the lube from my nightstand and hastily coat myself, jacking hard. I listen for Holden’s deep, husky voice, listen to hear my name on his lips. What would it even sound like, so raw with desire?
Reaching behind myself, I use my middle finger to circle my rim. My toes curl as my balls draw up tight. I’ve never wanted him this way, never even saw it was a possibility. And now I’mon the cusp of an insanely intense orgasm. I can feel it tingling up my spine.
I groan his name again, and jack harder, eyes shut, bottom lip curled in between my teeth. It doesn’t take long until hot white ropes spill onto my chest. Pleasure rips through my body, and I cry out, cock pulsing.
Stunned, I stare up at the ceiling, catching my breath. Did I really just do that?
Slowly, I drag my fingers through the liquid, feeling slightly mortified yet incredibly sated. I haven’t had a release that intense in years. To thoughts of Holden of all people.
I laugh quietly to myself. Yeah, it’s definitely a good thing he isn’t here. I need to wrap my head around this before we go further.
I need to wrap my head aroundallof this.
Reaching for his note, I hold it to my lips.Please let this be real.
16
HOLDEN
The jack creaks as I crank it up another inch, the car lifting just enough to take the pressure off the tire. Gravel shifts under my knees, biting through the thin layer of my shorts. It’s quiet out here—too quiet for all the activity going on inside my head.
Hattie stands off to the side with her arms crossed, keys dangling from her fingers, and impatience practically vibrating off her.
Dad could’ve come to help her. Hell, he would’ve if he’d seen the text before I did—she’d messaged us both. But I’d jumped on the opportunity like an idiot and took it for what it was.
An out.
As much as I don’t want to admit it—even to myself—I needed that excuse to leave Korie’s bed.
I didn’t want to. That’s the problem. I could’ve stayed there all day if things were different. But I’m trying to turn over a new leaf… or something.
It’s hard to remember my reasons when lust is still churning through my system.
Tightening my grip on the jack handle, I clench my jaw and crank it again, pouring all that frustration into the motion.
The memory still hits hard—Korie curled into me, warm and soft and right where they’ve never been before, their breath skating against my neck, one leg thrown over mine like it belongs there. In all the years we’ve shared a bed, we have never slept like that.
I woke up twice hard as rock, half-dazed and trying not to move because if I did—if I shifted even a little… well, I didn’t trust myself enough to find out. I would’ve slid a hand somewhere I shouldn’t have.
So yeah. I left as fast as humanly possible.
