We sit in an awkward silence, me contemplative, him regretful.
That moment when he can’t help but give into his compulsions is one that, I think, makes him feel weak and incapable. Add in being forced to do it in front of another person and it’s worse. I’ve always ignored it when his compulsions come about, and now I can’t seem to shake them off. Now I’m seeing the internal struggle that accompanies it and it’s not sitting right with me.
“You can come inside,” I say on a sigh. “But you’re sleeping on the couch.”
He says nothing, simply offers a weak nod and steps out the car. I follow him after a minute, wondering what on earth this night is going to be like.
* * *
The minute I step inside, Ollie greets me by swerving in between my legs, nudging his head against me.
Ollie has never been good with new people. He’s extremely territorial, as all black cats usually are, and so I watch carefully as he moves to Finn.
Without wasting a second, Finn immediately bends down and scoops up my cat into his big arms.
“Oh, no, don’t. He—” but my traitor of a cat purrs loudly as he nuzzles into Finn’s neck “—doesn’t…like…people.”
What. The. Hell?
I stare in disbelief as Finn scratches the very spot on Ollie that he loves so much and that it took me weeks to find. Ollie’s back leg straightens out, a sign that he’s in heaven right now.
“He’s cute,” Finn says simply, moving toward the couch with Ollie still in his arms.
Unbelievable.
I stomp my way over to the kitchen, pouting like a child as I refill the traitor’s bowl. I make myself a glass of water. My glass pauses halfway to my lips.
“Oh, for God’s sake,” I mumble to myself. “Hey, dickwad, do you want water?”
“I’m good, thanks.”
I chug the water down in about three gulps, my throat feeling as if I’ve just come out the desert.
“I should get some sleep. I have work again tomorrow.” He doesn’t reply. “I’ll go get you some sheets.”
After an awkward exchange of sheets and one more glass of water, I climb into bed and give into my exhaustion. Only problem is…
Not even exhaustion seems to be able to trump the awareness that shuffles across my mind. The knowledge that there’s just one wall separating myself from Finn has the same effect as my room being filled with sunlight. I can hear him arranging the sheets on the couch, the ruffle of fabric and the slapping of a pillow. I don’t hear anything after that, but I’m still so aware that he’s there on the other side, doing God knows what.
An hour later, I’m still awake, and by the sounds of it, so is Finn. I hear him change position for what must be the twentieth time now. I even tried counting at one point, thinking it might help put me to sleep. Nothing. God, my walls are thin.
Finn’s presence slithers over my skin making it slick with sweat.
Why the hell is he affecting me this way? I’ve never had to spend so much time one-on-one in such an intimate way with him, but even so I never expected this.
A groan from the other side of the wall makes my breath hitch. It’s low and frustrated and strangely tempting. It vibrates within me, setting off something that I don’t want to put a label on.
I kick the blanket off of me, my skin hot and bothered. I need more water, but I’ll have to pass him to get it. Even though avoiding him while I’m like this is the better option to take, curiosity has this cat in a chokehold.
I softly open the door and creep down the hallway that separates my bedroom from the living room and kitchen. My entire body stiffens as soon as I hear his low voice whisper into what I’m assuming is his phone.
“Well, what do you want me to say, Bash?” he asks. Of course, Bash is calling looking for details. Wren must have finally told him.
Sebastian—Bash as he prefers to be called—is another member of the little group we seem to have created over the past year. He’s one of Gus’s older brothers and the co-owner of Goldleaf Farm where I had my incredible thirtieth birthday last year.
“What do you mean I’m holding out on you?”
He listens to whatever reply Bash offers. I keep my back flush against the wall, the cold touch zipping across my slick skin.
