Once it’s had time to soak in, Torin makes me help him brush the mats out. The horse continues to stand completely still, and I can’t help but wonder if he’s aware that every time he moves it freaks me out.
“I really think you should go for a ride. The sooner you fix your bond, the better it’ll be for both of you,” Torin says. “Let me see what tack I still have.”
“Oh, no, that’s okay. I really don’t need to,” I tell him. “Our bond has actually been repaired.”
“You’ve ridden Quill. It’ll be no different.”
I point at Quill, who is busy flipping the latch to a door up and down and up and down. “That thing is not as scary as this horse is.”
“I love that you think the half dragon, half fireball, half horse, half something else creature is less scary than a horse,” Mickey says.
“How can it be four halves of something?” Vero asks. “And they claimed you were the intelligent one.”
“I will fuck you up and show you that I’m also the brutal one,” Mickey threatens as he takes a fighting stance.
“I’d like to watch your tiny body try,” Vero says a second before at least a hundred undead surround him while Mickey smirks.
“Yeah? Just give me the word.”
“Go fight away from us if you’re going to fight. Riley is bonding with his horse,” Torin says, trying to shoo them off.
“No, no, I like this better,” I say. “Please continue. I’m not quite sure who is going to win, but I’m eager to find out. It’s significantly better than this other stuff.”
The horse eyes me before looking away, and then I feel this twinge of guilt. However, I don’t have long to consider it before Story comes over to us and Mickey sends his undead off. “I’m really sorry to interrupt, but I wanted to let you know we had a couple of houses done.”
Torin looks thrilled as he rushes over. “Perfect! Um…” He glances at me and the horse, and I wave him off.
“Go ahead. They need you more than I do right now. This bond is going to take a while to repair. I’ll catch up.”
Torin seems to think this means I plan to spend time with the horse, so he looks thrilled by the idea and leaves me withoutquestion. As soon as everyone is gone, I hurry off for a walk, wanting to clear my mind. I set Kit down on the ground so she can gallop ahead of me, the beautiful land stretching on farther than Kit can see. It’s changed so much since the first time I walked through that Door.
I take a different path than we normally use, not having explored this way yet. I probably should be helping Torin and the others, but I need some time to think.
There’s a lovely path that stretches ahead of me, the road cutting into the trees as I wonder if it leads to another village I haven’t yet seen, but instead of following it, my eyes are fixated on mounds in the distance.
I make my way over to them and am all too soon met with graves—probably a mass grave in the middle of smaller ones.
The sound of the horse drawing close alerts me. I turn and throw my arms up, trying to shoo him away as that tightness in my stomach returns. “Get away from me!”
The horse ignores me and continues walking toward me. Sensing my pain, Kit rushes over, climbing up my body and onto my shoulder while I grab a rock and throw it at the horse. It hits the animal’s broad chest, but he doesn’t seem to care as he keeps getting closer.
“I don’t fucking want you. I don’t want to be near you. I don’t want… I don’t want my power back. I don’t want to fix this,” I admit. “Torin is thrilled to have new life in his world after I destroyed everything. I killed them all with this power. Why would I ever want it back? So if you just stayed away, I’d never even have the chance to get it back! So please… just stay away.”
The horse ignores me. Why wouldn’t he? He’s just an animal that has no idea what I’m saying.
Irritation and anger rush through me when the horse reaches me and presses his forehead against me. I start to move back,but instead grab the animal to keep from falling as I find myself standing before Aemon in what must be a memory.
“You know we can do great things together, you and I. With your strength, we could control all of the realms?—”
“How much greatness are you going to share?” I ask.
The ground shakes while darkness roils above me.
It’s suffocating.
And the god is so pleased by it.
Suddenly, I’m alone, hunched over that book we’d found in Torin’s library. After every page I scan, I write hurriedly on loose papers, but nothing I write down is enough. It’s never enough.
