“I had… a vision or a memory or something… the horse made it happen.”
“What was it about?”
I squeeze the horse’s leg like it’ll save me, and Torin gently pulls me up to my feet. I really don’t want to tell him. I don’t want him to hate me. I’m so afraid he’ll realize that I’m a monster, but honestly, I deserve whatever he hands me.
With a sigh, I tell him what happened, and he listens closely before saying, “So if we combine that with what Conquest said, we know that you were trying to stop Aemon by gathering the magic from multiple realms. But the spell you were using or perhaps something else caused you to lose control.”
“Why would I do it at the risk of so many lives?” I ask.
“Because risking lives in one world is better than letting the god destroy many. You know that, and I know that.”
I feel so discouraged by all of this, but there is a small part of me that feels relief that I hadn’t done it on purpose. That I hadn’t intended to kill those innocent people. That I really was trying to stop Aemon. “How do you not hate me?”
“A thousand years is a long time to learn things—to discover that there are, at times, sacrifices that will be made to reach a greater good. Do you think I haven’t slaughtered many that I regret killing? The god who once ruled this land controlled his people through fear. Gaining this land wasn’t simply walking in and killing the god. I had to fight for this position, and with it came death. I knew people would die, many of whom were innocent. They were just following the words of a god they feared. But I knew I had to do it for the greater good of the people. You were trying to save many worlds from falling, even if it cost this one. It doesn’t sound like you planned to take this world, but you were consumed by the darkness.”
“And what happens if I do regain my power? What if I lose control again and destroy another world, or even this one? Maybe it’s best for me to never repair the connection I had with the horse.”
Torin is quiet for a moment before taking a deep breath. “It’s different. This time, I’m beside you instead of against you. I won’t let it happen again. We know what is coming and we’re going to stop it.”
“Then I guess I need to learn how to ride this horse,” I grumble.
He gives me an encouraging smile. “I guess so.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Torin
“This is going to be so much fun,” I say as Riley holds a pitchfork for some reason. “What exactly is the pitchfork for?”
“So it looks like I’m doing something and you don’t ask me to come over and join you,” he replies.
“You do look like a sexy farmer.”
“Yeah? I could show you mine and you could show me yours over there in the corner?”
What a sneaky little fucker. How dare he tempt me? “I would love to… but not right now,” I say regretfully.
He sighs and sets the pitchfork down before he finally joins me.
“So once the saddle pad is down, you need the saddle.”
I hand him the saddle and he tries to put it on my back. “I’d rather ride you over there in the corner where no one will see us. I will take my sweet time?—”
“I will not be tempted by you,” I inform him while being horribly tempted by him. I mean… he really could learn to ride the horseafterwe have sex, but then he’ll do something like, “Oh, I’m too tired now, maybe some other day.” And then thebad guys are going to come and he’s going to be all, “Oh no, I’ve fucked up and I regret it.”
“I donotknow what’s going on with your face, but it’s rather concerning,” Riley teases.
“It’s my thinking face. I’m imagining all the scenarios of what would happen if I caved.”
That makes him grin; he’s obviously thinking of different things than I am. “You’d get to come?”
“And then the world would end in ruin.”
Riley gives me a look of disbelief. “What a horrible jump! Like what happened there in the middle?”
“It’s too tragic to talk about. Now we must put the cinch on.”
“You could uncinch my pants and nail me against that wall,” he says.
