“How am I?” I ask him, wishing I had a mirror.
“You’re perfect.” He’s always softer after he has sex, and right now his eyes and expression are very warm and fond.
“Don’t exaggerate.”
“Okay. You’re perfect forme. That’s not an exaggeration, is it?”
“Absolutely not. I knew you were going to be special to me all the way back when you were sitting at your table, frowning at the world, not saying a word, and staring at me constantly.”
“I couldn’t help but stare.” He leans down to kiss me lightly. “You changed everything for me. You changed the world.”
“Um…”
“You changedmyworld.”
I give him a little hug before we open the door and head back to the barroom. But I say as we go, “You changed my world too.”
A couple of hours later, my shift has ended, and I hurry out the back door and across the yard to where Cade is waiting in an ATV on the street.
It’s time for us to go home.
No more fucks with customers for me. The ousting of the militia changed things in the Pub. Without the violent imposition of the militia making Nell hold to her rules and routines with an iron fist, she’s become slightly more flexible. Not in keeping her staff safe but in the hours the Pub is open and the way paid fucks are handled.
Not all the servers have to do it now. They can negotiate for terms that work for them. And the Pub is open some afternoon hours as well so a few servers can work part-time. Pete is training Danny as a second bartender so he can cut back on his hours.
I work three evenings a week, and I never fuck anyone but Cade.
It’s been working perfectly so far.
If Cade and I have a baby, I might want to cut back even more. But that hasn’t happened for us yet, and it might never. Pregnancies are a lot less common than they were before Impact because of poor health care and nutrition. And a lot of pregnancies that do happen never come to full term.
But it might happen for us. We stopped using condoms shortly after we kicked out the militia. If it does, then I’ll see whether I want to keep doing shifts at the Pub.
For now, I enjoy it. They’re my friends, and I like feeling like I belong there still.
Cade is smiling as he puts the ATV into drive to take us to the house in town we’ve made our own. The cabin in the woods he shared with his parents and buddies is empty now because his whole crew has come down to live in town.
“What are you smiling about?” I ask him.
He shakes his head. “Just happy to be going home with you.”
“Me too.” I reach over to squeeze his arm. “I never thought I could ever be this happy—not even before Impact.”
It’s true. For so long, my grandfather was the only person I really loved, but that’s not true anymore.
I have friends. Family. Community.
I havepeople.
And I have Cade.
Maybe the world did fall apart. Maybe it was never all that good to begin with.
But it still feels like every dream I ever had has come true.
Later, when we’re home, we go upstairs to the second level of our house and climb out a window onto the roof of the porch. We chose this house on purpose because we could.
Cade sits beside me, and we talk about the future as I draw the stars.
