A fire ignites behind his eyes. I wet my lips, drawing his eyes to my mouth. He inches closer, our lips almost brushing. I hold my breath. “I can promise you, I’m far from an inexperienced virgin. I’m more into showing than telling, though.”
Oh. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.Fuck. This is dangerous territory. That doesn’t stop me from leaning in a little closer, though. “Is that right?” I purr.
Goddamit, Maisie.
“Mhmmm,” he groans under his breath, his nose nudging mine. We share breaths, and I can practically taste the sexual tension. I’ve liked men, sure. Been attracted to them, of course. Even loved them, in aI like you and I’m comfortable being around youkind of way. And I was okay with that—up until now at least. But this? This is fucking terrifying.
Grayson’s different in every sense. He isn’t safe—he’s the bold choice. The choice that brings me the most reward. A scarydream to fall for but the one that makes all my insecurities and trauma melt away. Grayson is playing chess while Carl was playing checkers.
I can’t do this. I’m leaving soon. I have a whole life away from here, big dreams I’ve wanted since I was a little girl. We both have a luggage full of trauma, it seems, and live two completely different lives. He has his life here on the ranch with Laine and Nova, and I have mine in New York with…well, my job and…my cat.
We can’t take our eyes off each other. Of course he smells like a wet dream, making it next to impossible to pull away. I’m starting to forget why it was such a bad idea to kiss him the longer we sit here, lips a hair's breadth apart.
His hitched breath has his lip nudging mine. One brush of my tongue, and I could taste him, learn exactly what his sinful mouth tastes like. Probably hell and heaven combined, knowing him.
I can tell he’s just as lost in this pull as I am. He’s been very clear with me he isn’t on the market, a bright red, light-up sign that says STAY AWAY, but he looks like he wants to kiss me too. It’s maddening.
Maybe he just wants to have a little fun? Somehow, in a short amount of time, I’ve realized I might be interested in more than that. I’m not sure exactly what, but I want more than just one stolen kiss on a hidden dock.
My eye catches on the bruise blooming over his eyebrow, and that’s enough to snap me out of it. I can’t do this. This man has secrets and is not interested in a relationship. He’s told me so many times over. It’s only now dawned on me that I may have clung to the first thing that brought me any semblance of attention, yet again. In typical Maisie fashion, I clung like a newborn babe to a mother.
How stupid can I be?
I turn away and gather my journal in a rush. “Sorry, I just,uhh…I remembered I left… a pie…in my oven. I have to go,” I rush out. I get up, but a large hand on my arm halts me.
Confused eyes find me, maybe laced withdisappointment? That can’t be. “You’re telling me you had time to make a pie this morning after waking up hungover from a late night of drinking? What’s going on in that pretty head of yours, Mais?”
Mais? A fucking nickname. This is too much.
“I can’t let the cabin burn down. Chesney will never let it go if I do,” I try to joke, but it falls flat. Grayson can see right through my lies, but I can’t stay here and continue this. My heart can’t take it. I’m leaving in just weeks.
“I’ll see you around, Grayson.” I shoot him a half smile and rush back to my cabin like a coward.
Research notes: cowboys have obnoxiously big hearts.
grayson
. . .
FOURTEEN
What the fuck was that?I thought everything was fine, more than fine. But then, she spooked like a horse and fled. I know I shouldn’t have let it get that far, dammit, but Maisie is addictive. She’s my dream woman, plain and simple, and, in a moment of weakness, I thoughtwhat if. What if I could just have one single taste of what life with this angel would be like if life were simple? What would our painting look like?
I know I can’t kiss her. It’s one hundred percent off limits, but I’m weak when it comes to her. Apparently, my mouth is loose when I’m around her too. No one besides Laine knows the entirety of our story, and, in a matter of minutes, she almost drew the whole thing out of me. I left some parts out, sure, but I found myself wanting to share all the sides of me, if only so she knew she wasn’t alone in her struggles. I would give almost anything to take that burden off her back like I have for Laine and her medical bills. I would bear it all for her, and we’ve only just met.
How can I want a woman's pain to be mine so badly after just meeting her? It’s not like me. I don’t entertain women,ever. But trauma spots trauma, and I can tell she’s harboring more than she let on, just as I am.
At some point, I picked up the flower Maisie left behind, just so I could be close to her again. I rub my thumb over the petal she rubbed thin, feeling the phantom caress of her skin. I pluck the petal and slip it in my pocket before throwing the rest of it into the water, watching it float away until it disappears altogether.
It’s a shocking reminder that everything I touch can be taken away in a blink if I’m not careful. I cannot fall for this woman. I cannot let her in and risk her heart—or worse, her life. They would eat her alive if they found out I had another person I cared for.
I make a vow right here to do everything I can to make sure she doesn’t weasel her way into my heart, even if it means shutting her out.
Maisie Brooks can’t be mine.
I’m putting the last of my supplies away for the day in the tack room when I hear feet approaching. “Gray?” Ches calls from the barn door.
“Yo, in here,” I shout, hanging the horse lead on the wall.
