‘To my family,
I know you’re expecting me to walk through the door, so that we can celebrate the win, but to me, this was nothing but a huge loss. This cost me a lot, and right now, I need time.
So, I’m asking for a favor. It’s rare I do, but I need this. I need you to just let me go. I’m taking some time, and I’m going to try to figure out who I am. I don’t know who I am anymore, and that’s a problem.
My world is upside down, and I can’t carry the weight of this family right now. It’s too much. I’ve given all I have for this country, for the people I love, and for the dead. Right now, I need to find myself.
So, know that I’m safe.
I just need to regroup.
You’ve all been trained to do the job, and I’ve built a team that can catch the Devil himself. Little did I know that I was the devil in this scenario.
But I am.
Gene, I’m leaving you in charge of my division and personal team. If a case comes up, I know you can run it like you stole it.
I’m trusting you with one of my biggest assets, an ME who is so good at his job, it should be illegal.
After him, you get Callen, who is beyond competent at helping handle a case, and he’s going to back you up. Lean into him, because he knows how to solve shit too.
Lastly, you have the golden standard of profilers at your disposal, and Ethan can profile like no one’s business. You all are the secret to my success and the reason I wear the crown. With my other team members, I know that I’m leaving the FBI in good hands.
Be gentle with her.
Justice is a fragile thing, and not something you can drop. No one knows the ramifications more than me.
So, keep fighting this fight, and when I’m ready, I’ll hopefully come back to put that badge back on—if I can forgive myself for those sins.
Kiss my children and tell them mommy isn’t well. Because I’m not. I’m broken in ways no one will ever understand. Being the raven has taken its toll, and it was a job I never asked for, but willingly carried for everyone else. Now, I have to see if I want to carry it for me. I have to see if I’m really meant to be the raven or if this has been nothing more than a masquerade.
I don’t know who I am anymore, and the pull to find out is greater than the desire to remain oblivious.
I love you all, and I love my country, but I can’t be the person you all expect me to be now. It’s time that I be selfish and do what’s best for me. It’s time I be Elizabeth and see if she can find her place in the world.
Forever all my love,
And that’s why I have to leave.
Elizabeth LaRue.’
As soon as Chris read the words, Ethan didn’t know what to say. The fact that she called herself by her maiden name scared him to the depths of his soul.
He didn’t have the words. His wife didn’t only go rogue, she’d was just…gone.
Chris folded the letter up and said nothing.
Why?
He was on her side in this.
For the last twenty-five years, she’d given all she had to do a job that took and took until it stripped you bare and made you hollow.
If his wife needed a break, theLEASTthey could do, as the people she protected and cared for, was stand in her place and carry the weight for a change.
“What do we do?” Callen asked, caught completely off guard by the words in that letter. “That doesn’t sound like she’s coming back to the FBI, let alone us. Is she coming back to us?”
Ethan didn’t know.
