"Hudson's claiming it's medically necessary. Behavioral stabilization after the incident."
"Rick threatened to rape a court-appointed liaison." The words come out flat. "I broke his arms and a leg for good measure. Seems proportional to me."
Kent's expression doesn't change. "The proportion isn't the problem. The problem is they keep doing it. Every time you give them an excuse, they extend the isolation, increase the medication, document the 'episode' in ways that make future release more difficult."
"I'm aware."
"Are you?" He leans closer to the slot. "Because from where I'm standing, you're giving them what they want. Evidence that you can't be controlled. Justification for keeping you buried in here for the rest of your life."
I think of Hope. The way she sat in that chair and saw a person where everyone else sees a case file. The way she asked questions no one else thought to ask. The way she keeps coming back.
"Can you use this?" I say.
"Yes, the patterns are evidence." Kent's voice drops. "They keep responding to your incidents with punishment that well exceeds any reasonable therapeutic protocol. They keep documenting behavioral problems that conveniently justify their treatment approach. They keep—" He pauses for a moment. "Hold the line, Jude. What we're building is bigger than a day room or a broken guard."
"Gage backed you." The hard edge in Kent's voice drops a fraction. "Went to Hudson directly. Told him what Rick said about Hope, confirmed the provocation. His incident report says you were protecting a court-appointed liaison and that it won't happen again." He pauses. "That last part's on you."
An employee putting his name on a report that contradicts the facility's version. Gage knows what he's risking.
"Your monitor's been at it too. Written to the court every day you've been in here, documenting the isolation, pushing to get your sessions reinstated." Kent shifts his weight at the slot. "I'm working with both of them. Gage backs the privileges restoration, Hope's reports counter every escalation Hudson has on file. Motion to pull you out of solitary goes in by end of week."
Hope. Writing to the court every day I've been in this box.
"But the next filing isn't about solitary," Kent says. "It's about getting you out entirely."
Entirely.
My chest tightens around the word.
"How long?"
"Months, still. Maybe longer." He doesn't soften it. Kent never softens anything when it matters. "But every incident they mishandle, every protocol they violate, every punishment that doesn't match the offense, it goes in the file. It builds the case. It shows the pattern."
He's telling me to be patient. To endure this box and the drugs and the days without her, because every day they overdo it is another page in his case.
I've been patient for eight years. I can be patient longer.
But patience isn't the hard part anymore.
I miss her. My body keeps expecting to find her, and she isn't there. I listen for her footsteps, the light steady pace that doesn't speed up at my door, and I hear guard boots and orderly sneakers and Devina's half-run and none of them are right. The pull is physical, specific, a want that lives in my hands and mychest and won't quiet down no matter how much they sedate me. I want the pen click. I want the coconut-and-burnt-coffee smell that fills my cell after she leaves. I want the way she crosses her ankles when she sits,and the way her voice doesn't change when I tell her the worst things I've done.
I've never missed anyone. Elizabeth, when she died, I noticed the space where she used to be. Registered the gap. But this is different. A pull toward a woman who barely knows me,who walks into my cell and asks how I'm doing.
I've broken out of every cage they've put me in. Over a body, usually.
This is the first one I'd stay in.
The slot closes. Kent's footsteps fade. I'm alone with the walls and the drugs and the hours, and for the first time in eight years, I want to be here when someone comes back.
For her, I'd stay.
Chapter 14
Hope
The front desk smells like industrial cleaner and recycled air, same as always. Everything looks exactly the way it did two weeks ago, except for the laminated sign taped to the security desk that wasn't there before.
All external personnel must present current authorization documentation. No exceptions.
