I tossedand turned most of the night. Not only was I big as hell, but my baby seemed to be restless too. I lay there with the lamp on beside the bed with a book in my hand. Skimming through a catalog to take some additional college courses in the fall, I tried to figure out if there were any other courses that I was interested in. Dancing had taken a back burner because of the baby and everything else going on. I still loved to do it, but right now, I was too tired to dedicate myself to a regular schedule. I was coaching Ivy and making sure she stuck to hers though.
The thought of Ivana not far, tucked inside the very room that held me not long ago, also kept me alert. I even got up to go and check on Ivy, only to find her sleeping peacefully in her bed, mouth open, and snoring. I watched her for a few, smiling to myself before I left the room and got back in bed. It was late, and I was hungry. I really wanted one of Celine’s cheesecakes right now, but she had been MIA and wasn’t even answering her phone. She didn’t even know I was pregnant, and I was having abandonment issues again.
Finally, I dozed off, and not long after that, I felt the bed shift. Frequency was back. I turned, facing him, but keeping my body in the bed. He rested on his back, eyes on the ceiling, smelling like his bodywash. He must have already showered and I slept through it.
“Everything okay?” I asked, resting a hand on his chest gently.
Slowly, his head rolled over the pillow in my direction.
“Yeah. Just been a long day,” he answered, and I scooted closer to him.
He tossed an arm around me and kissed my forehead lovingly.
“It has. I got a feeling tomorrow will be exciting as well. You ready for that?”
“Not really, but I know it has to be done. Get some rest,” he insisted, his other hand resting on my bulging stomach that pressed into his hard abdomen.
I closed my eyes and allowed sleep to carry me away. I didn’t know what the next day would bring, and that left me wide open. The next morning when I stirred, the bed was empty. Yawning, my baby kicked in greeting, and I winced slightly because he or she was getting stronger with every day.
“Ow!” I groaned, rubbing where he or she kicked.
“What happened?” Frequency darted from the bathroom, alert with his pistol in hand.
He looked crazy and sexy in his pajama bottoms with his big, square-cut chest all chiseled. I struggled to sit up, keeping my arms behind me to prop me up. Snickering, I shook my head .
“Nothing. Our baby was saying good morning and pressing on my damn bladder.” I tossed the covers aside. “It would be nice not to cook breakfast this morning. But… since Celine isn’t here?—”
“Harbor.” He shut down and turned to go back to the bathroom with me waddling behind him.
“What happened to her? Why isn’t she here? She loves you and Ivy,” I pressed.
He was keeping something from me, and I didn’t like it. When he turned on me in that moment, there was something else behind his eyes. This darkened glare that I had only seen once resided there. That night he caught me lurking through thehalls and pulled a gun on me. It was as if a light switch had been flicked off.
“I’m not about to discuss this with you. Not now. I can’t. She’s gone, and that’s all the fuck you need to know. If you need a new cook or housekeeper, then I understand that. This is a big house; you’re pregnant as fuck and due soon. So I can reach out to a few services and screen some people, a’ight?” His demeanor had calmed down, but he was still rigid as hell.
My eyes never wavered from his, but he wasn’t backing down. Frequency had a brick wall up, and that alarmed me because he had been an open book so far. There was something that he wasn’t telling me.
“Whatever you say,” I grumbled, stomping past him so that I could pee.
He reached out, trying to coddle me and shit, but I wasn’t feeling him. “Don’t touch me right now, Free.”
“Harbor—”
“No. We both know you’re keeping something from me. With everything that has gone on, I thought that you understood by now what trust means to me and to this relationship.”
“This ain’t about trust!” he belted, high wired. “This is about some shit that I’m not ready to talk about. Me! I stood there and murked my own fucking father for some shit I thought he did. Turns out, I had every reason to hate him. My family doesn’t know. I don’t even know what to tell them. Kara is about to be out of rehab soon. I don’t want anything setting her back. Karmine, he’s unpredictable. And on top of all that… Celine isn’t who I thought she was.”
“What does that mean?” I was confused and still had to fucking pee.
“It means she went against the grain. She’s out. I’ll find someone else around here. I gotta get dressed.” With those words, he was gone.
I stood there blinking back tears while wondering what the hell had happened. The sound of him rustling around in his closet angrily forced me toward the door. I could hear him moving the clothes around as he sifted through them, and I slammed the door shut so hard it shook the nearby walls. I went to pee and then stripped out of my clothes to shower.
Afterward, I brushed my teeth and emerged into the bedroom wrapped in one of those thick hotel or spa-style robes. Frequency was dressed for the day, fine as fucking ever. Seated on a bench at the foot of the bed, draped in Armani, a midnight-blue suit with a crisp white shirt underneath, he seemed so dejected. The waves in his head were swimming heavily, and a deep wrinkle formed in his forehead. I stopped right near the dresser, taking him in.
“I’m sorry.” His voice was so low when he spoke, almost broken.
Slowly, his upper body sloped forward, and his elbows rested on his knees. He brought his hands to his face as if he was praying.
