“But no, I haven’t heard from her directly, and I don’t expect to.” He went back to what he was doing. “Harbor is selfish, self-sufficient, and resilient. I don’t know how she pulled all of this off?—”
“And you don’t want to talk to her and find out?” I asked, frowning.
“I don’t have time for my daughter and her shit right now, Lock.”
“So you don’t want any kind of explanation for why she just left? I don’t know about you. That shit keeps me up at night. I can’t just… let it go.”
Harold paused and scrutinized me. He fisted the hair from his beard and reclined in his brown leather chair.
“You cared for her. I understand it. I, more than anybody, can understand that. Harbor is just like her mother. She’s strong-willed, and she can adjust to just about anything. Halo was the exact same way. She was impulsive and thought short term. You are better off moving on from her, Lock. I know thatmight be easier said than done, but trust me when I say, if you go on this search for the truth, it could leave you more fucked up in the head than you are now,” Harold advised.
“Harbor Realty. Check it out. I plan to. You might want to believe that all of this is just who she is, but I can’t live with that shit. You can write your daughter off… that’s not the kind of nigga I am. I’m going to talk to her myself. I will get the answers that I need.” I wasn’t about to waste my time debating with this man.
He felt the way that he did for a reason. She was his daughter. Maybe he knew her better than I did. Abruptly, I rose to my feet and moved toward the door.
“Lock!” His voice halted me in my steps. “Don’t expect too much from her. That’s how you set yourself up. I love my daughter, but trouble never lingers too far behind her.”
As I was leaving, Harmonie was coming in, and when she saw me, she was stunned.
“Lock. What are you doing here?” she asked, checking me out.
It had been a while since we’d seen one another. After Harbor was taken, things between us shifted too. Harmonie was a beautiful girl, and she reminded of her sister so in the beginning it did bring a slight comfort to have her around.
“Just talking to your father about something.”
“You mean about Harbor?” she questioned.
When I didn’t answer, she scoffed and shook her head.
“It’s fine. I’ve talked to him, and I’ve seen the newspaper. I guess life here with us mere mortals was just too much for my dear old sister.” Harmonie mocked.
“Yeah, I’m not sure I believe everything that I see,” I chimed in.
“Then you’re stupid. Harbor is far from dumb. She’s calculated and manipulative. I can’t even think about seeing herright now, or I might fucking lose it. After all this time, I can’t believe that you would even want to see her. She lied. What kind of human being does what she did?” I couldn’t tell if she was happy, sad, or angry.
Harmonie seemed to be going through a range of emotions. This couldn’t be easy for her. Harbor was her sister, and they grew up together. The fact that she took off the way that she did, it was bound to leave anyone with questions. Bitterness and resentment had built up in her, and somehow, the shit came unleashing on me.
“Maybe you should talk to her about it instead of assuming the worst.”
“No, you go right ahead. If that’s what you need to soothe your soul, you do that, Lock. All you’re going to find out is who she really is. So make sure to keep yourself protected. Harbor is like our mother. All that she cares about is herself. She didn’t give a damn about what any of us were going through thinking the worst had happened to her. And you had the nerve to feel guilty about what we did after she was gone.” A smile danced in her eyes.
The last thing that I wanted or needed was to get involved with anything that was going to cause animosity. Harmonie and I slipped up a few times when Harbor was first declared missing. We were drunk and also drowning in guilt at the time. I hadn’t seen her since the last time we linked up. She was starting to get a little too clingy with a nigga, and I had to put some distance between us. Plus, I had Alba to deal with and, eventually, a baby on the way and some other shit I was trying to get off the ground.
Harmonie was a distraction a nigga couldn’t afford. She and Harbor actually were nothing alike in retrospect. That girl left a hole in a nigga’s heart that nobody could fill. During that time I was unwilling to let go of it. I was raised in the streets, and one thing that would never flee me was my hustle. If anything, I wentharder because of everything that I’d been through. Confronting Harbor felt like I was about to go head up with an enemy, and I didn’t like that feeling.
“Funny how they think they know us… you ain’t lost, and out there is no us…”
Harbor
I spentmost of the day shopping and sight-seeing. Puerto Rico was warm, sunny, and beautiful. Frequency stayed in my head while I went through the city. After a couple of hours, I was back at the hotel. When I stepped inside, it was obvious that I was alone. I dropped my bags at the door and decided to order lunch. After eating, I poured myself a glass of wine and decided to book a spa appointment for the next day. Seated outside on the balcony, I soaked in the view in a bathing suit with a pair ofshades covering my face. With my earbuds in my ear, slow jams carried me away while I soaked up some sun.
My life had taken a turn, and I wasn’t sure where it was going. Confusion and anxiousness submerged me. Everything that I’d gone through brought me right there, and I didn’t know where the fuckherewas. Disconnected from the world, I wondered where my place was.Was it with Frequency? What did I want? Was what he could give me enough?He wasn’t able to give himself to me in the way I felt like I had submitted to him. I could swear when we were together that there was something real there, but he was showing me that it was one-sided.
I must’ve fallen asleep. I felt a warm hand on my thigh, and it jerked me out of my slumber. Snatching the sunglasses off my face, I took in Frequency beside me on the lounge chair.
“Looks like you did some damage today,” he said, studying me.
“Yeah. You said whatever I want,” I muttered, placing my sunglasses on top of my head.
