I will gladly stain my hands with blood again.
Chapter Eight
Bane
“I’ll know everything about him by morning,” Hunter snarls.
“She really said it with no emotion?” Remy asks.
“Yes.” My brothers finished helping Ryker, Dan is alive, and his memories are changed. They weren’t pleased with my call. I don’t want to betray Haven by sharing her story, yet we are a team. If this is going to work, honesty and transparency are a must. We don’t want to accidentally scare her or make her uncomfortable with our actions.
“Do you think she's willing to try with us?” Hunter asks.
“I think so,” I mumble. Turning back toward the door, I lean on the railing and see Lawson lying on the couch. His eyes are closed, and I hope he’s sleeping.
“How’s Law?” Remy asks.
“Good. He’s been surprisingly steady.” He doesn't twitch, so I know he can’t hear us. “She seems fond of him.”
“He needs her,” Hunter whispers.
“I think we all do.”
“How are you?” Hunter asks.
“Coping,” I murmur.
“At least there's that,” Remy says.
“We have to get through the night,” I say, rubbing my hand over my head. “Give her time to sit with the information. Tomorrow, we will get serious.”
“Agreed.” I knew Remy would.
“She’s handling it well,” Hunter says.
“She didn’t put up much of a fight while you were feeding her,” Remy comments lightly.
“She needed to eat,” he says.
“Good move.” I slide my hand in my pocket. “Be here in the morning.”
“Yeah,” they both say, and I hang up.
I’ve been called cold, remote, too quiet, and heartless. I don’t give a fuck what people think or say about me. My brothers are who matter. They understand and have never tried to change me. Heath has accepted me and gave Hunter and me a place to call home. For many years, Hunter was the only one by my side; it was us against the world. He protected me and was the voice I needed out in the world. Being in foster care was the worst time of my life, and I leaned heavily on him to keep it together. We were shuffled from home to home, unable to find a stable place or even decent people. Hiding my animal was the most painful experience. My jaguar is a part of me, suppressing him ate at me every day. Sure, we tried to find opportunities to shift and run. If we waited too long, the animal would push and release around humans. No one was safe then. My animal became angry and violent. I couldn’t be who I was born to be. I guess someof that anger has remained, although I shift almost daily. I was suppressed for so long; if I go a few days without that freedom, I’m transported back to that time.
We searched tirelessly for Remy and Lawson. Our last name was King, and our mom called us The Four Kings. When they were adopted, we didn’t know if their name had been changed. It took years and many false leads to find Remy. Even though our aunt took him, we didn’t know her. Mom and Dad never spoke about her or any other family member. They told us we didn’t have any extended family, which made it shocking to discover they had lied. At the time, I was angry, but now I know they had an excellent reason for keeping the mysterious aunt a secret. No matter how many years passed, we never gave up. Finding Remy was the best day of my life. I don’t share much emotion, but meeting a brother after years of wondering if we could, brought me to my knees.
It’s only been four months since we pulled Lawson out of the pits of hell, so I think he’s doing amazingly well with the transition to a normal life. I know he relies on me to calm his rage, just as I depended on Hunter, and I want to be that for him. It’s a way I can pay it forward. Law needs all of us to center him and calm his demons. I’m actually shocked that he's handling our mate so gently. Cornering her in the hallway when they met was needed. He needed to feel in control. She reacted just as she should. There isn’t an animal inside of her, yet instinctively, she knows we are hers. The four of us were lost for most of our lives, but now that we're finally in the same place, the universe has given us a gift, our mate.
I may seem distant, but a storm swirls in my gut. She belongs to us, and I will never leave her side. My animal is snarling inside and doesn’t understand why I'm standing outside when our mate is warm in her bed, without us beside her. She doesn’t realize what her acceptance of our dark sides means to me. She’sa little thing, but her presence is powerful. I think she will bring four large men some peace. Scaring her is the last thing I want to do, yet my gut is telling me not to back off. As she shared some of her story, I saw the longing for a family in her eyes. I’m very familiar with the signs. All of us have felt the same. I'm curious to learn more about her life. Unfortunately, that means we have to share ours. Talking about the past makes me nauseous. She claims she understands the dirty parts of life, but our story will test her limits.
Relationships are messy. I don’t remember ever having a date. Keeping my interactions short has been the theme in my life. The women I sleep with are usually other shifters who know the rules and that I’m not looking for anything beyond a night or two. What's the point when they aren’t my mate? Before Haven, I didn’t give it much thought. My loyalty and mission have been to my brothers. I didn’t care about finding a mate. When I saw her, my animal pushed at my skin, urging me to go to her, touch her, and claim her. I had to keep a tight rein on my instincts. I knew if I felt her soft skin, I wouldn’t let her go.
In the kitchen, I couldn’t help myself. Her warm scent was fucking with me. Her neck was as soft as I thought it would be, and I had to escape. Taking a few moments in the bathroom was the only reason I could allow her to go to bed alone.
I close my eyes and tip back my head. Picturing her, I allow my emotions to surface. She’s stunning. I can feel both her goodness and her desire. She doesn’t realize how strongly her curiosity affects me. After her story, I’m not sure she will be willing to cater to our preferences. Yet, I saw and smelled her reaction in the club when Daisy called Micah ‘Daddy.’ They don’t hide their relationship, and she doesn’t give a fuck what anyone thinks of her. I don’t know if my brothers caught it as Haven focused on them. We're all slightly different, but we all have our ownpreferences for how we want to be addressed and prefer to be in charge.
Opening my eyes, I look inside, my animal sensing Haven’s scent becoming stronger. She moves slowly across the living room, pausing briefly beside Lawson. Her gaze is tender as she looks at him. I watch as she searches the room. My vision can penetrate the dark, but she would have a difficult time seeing me. I smile slightly. It feels good knowing she's seeking me out. I almost don’t want her to come to me. Restraint on my part will be difficult when she's dressed in a little tank top, her breasts pressed against the fabric. She kept on the sweatpants, but they were baggy enough that I could slip my hands in the front of them easily.
