I want one.
Elijah grabs a plate, and I glide away, my gaze on the precious bundle. He’s sleeping, and warm in my arms. I gently rock backand forth at the end of the island. I’m amazed that he can sleep through the noise. He must feel so loved and safe. He has parents who adore him. He's fiercely protected. I wonder what it'll feel like to hold my baby. I’ve always wanted a large, loving family. I lightly glide my finger down his cheek and smile.
I glance around the room. The conversation. The teasing and stories of the good times. The easy camaraderie is heartwarming. What would my life have been like now if I had had this growing up? The only gathering we had was pretentious dinner parties with my father’s acquaintances. I had to dress up and sit stiffly through the meal. Once the food was consumed, I was dismissed because I was too young to understand the conversation that followed. I didn’t mind because it wasn’t interesting.
Bar fights are interesting.
They have moved on to another time, something to do with Saphira and fire. Sally is leaning against Luca, gasping, because she's laughing so hard. Saphira is pouting, and the men are shaking their heads. Juliana is smiling, leaning against Heath. My gaze connects with Bane’s, and I suck in a breath because of the intensity in his eyes. My rocking slows as I recognize the need in his expression. I exhale slowly and look away, only to see Lawson with a similar expression. Curiosity causes my gaze to move to Hunter, and I almost stumble by the gentleness on his face. Remy is smiling softly, his gaze moving over my face and to the baby.
“I can take him.” I shake my head and notice Saylor in front of me. “You must like babies.”
“I do.” I cradle him close a moment more before gently moving him to her arms. “I’ve always wanted a big family.”
“That’s good,” she says softly, her eyes crinkling.
“I haven’t got to snuggle him yet,” Sally says.
“Coming, godmother,” Saylor sings, and winks at me.
“I need the practice,” Sally says, patting her flat stomach.
“Sally’s pregnant,” Hunter says, his attention on me.
“I’m kind of disappointed,” she says, taking the baby. “I haven’t had any weird cravings yet.”
“Not true,” Atlas says, and she glares at him. “The other night I had to go to the gas station to get those pink balls covered in coconut.”
“They’re amazing, and I would have had that craving anytime,” she says.
“A time after that, I had to go retrieve a jug of cheese balls,” Luca adds.
“Cheese is always yummy.” She points at them. “I find it interesting you both saidhad to.”She narrows her eyes, and I laugh. Two fierce vampires start to backtrack.
Lawson stands up, drawing my attention, and quietly leaves the room. He disappears out the front door.
“He needs some time,” Bane says softly, and I jump. I was focused on Lawson and didn’t see him move.
“Is he alright?” I ask, and he nods. Remy asked me to distract him, and I feel like I failed. I should go after him. “Where is he going?”
“There’s a small creek behind the house. He likes to sit there,” Bane says.
I lean toward him. “Will you take me there? Would that be rude?” I ask.
“I don’t care if it is,” he replies, grabbing my hand.
Breeane smiles at me as Bane leads me through the room. Hunter nods lightly at him as we pass, and his fingers glide across my hip. All I want is to get to Lawson. Somehow, I feel his turmoil, just as I can feel Bane’s. He hides it well, but I feel his need to be with his brother. I’m loving the family, yet my mates need me.
Chapter Eighteen
Bane
Haven’s hand rests trustingly in mine as I lead her around the house and across the backyard. Our home is surrounded by trees, no neighbors for miles. We like the isolation and often explore the woods around us. Lawson lived most of his life in the trees, so he finds solace here. My gut churned with emotion as I watched Haven interact with the family, and it intensified when she held the baby. I imagine our children being held in her arms, safe, loved, and fed. All the things we didn’t have.
“Would Lawson rather be alone?” she asks as I guide her over a fallen branch.
“He would if it were anyone but you,” I say.
“I should have paid more attention to him. He’s not comfortable around all of them.” She looks over her shoulder toward the house.
