“Issy helped.”
“Mom would insist she did,” I mumble, and pick up my fork. “She loved making things like this. We didn’t always have money, so throwing random things in a dish was cheaper.” I cutoff a piece and hold it in front of her lips. “Open.” It pleases me when she does.
“It’s good,” she says. “Try it.”
I do what I’m told. “This was one of my favorites. I love breakfast foods, so mixing them is amazing. Mom called it,cheesy mix.” There is a pound of cheese holding together hashbrowns, ham chunks, and eggs.
“It’s like an omelet.”
“Yeah, but better.” I feed her another bite.
“Would she mind if I made it for you?” she asks, licking her lips.
“You want to?”
“Yes.”
“We can do it together,” I offer.
“Okay.”
We sit in silence, taking turns eating, and it’s the most relaxed I have ever been. It’s comfortable, and there is something loving about it. We need to eat, but the moment is intimate. I want to live out my life with her, enjoying quiet nights, doing simple things. I hold a cup to her lips. She, in turn, does the same for me. We both can feed ourselves, yet there is a level of bonding in something so basic.
“As a boy,” I say quietly. “I didn’t grasp my mom's loss. Even though I knew it hurt me to lose my dad, and I saw the pain she felt, I didn’t fully understand. Years later, I admired her even more for her will to go on. Now, I realize the depth of devastation she must have gone through, and still does.” I tilt my head and brush her hair over her shoulder. “I could not live another day without you. I didn’t know I could feel such a consuming need for another person. Of course, I knew finding a mate was possible, but it wasn’t something I craved or looked for. My work took over my life.
“I enjoy bringing some peace to those who are abused. Killing the bad men is easy, and I’m good at it. It was annoying seeing Charlie at the club. Our story was just beginning, but I wanted to kill him then. I had Shade keep track of him. He sent me information about his life. Nothing in the files led me to believe he would hurt you. I was wrong,” I whisper.
“Don’t blame yourself,” she says, grabbing my hand.
“It’s hard not to.” I study our fingers. “I wanted to concentrate on us, and I should have looked harder. Luckily, Shade had my back as he always does.” I look at her. “Knowing he was outside your home pushed me over the edge. I should have told you what was going on, but I didn’t want to burden you with another man who wanted to hurt you.”
“You should have,” she says. “But I understand why you didn’t. I’m grateful that you wanted to take care of it, but I want us to be a team.”
“I would like to say it won’t happen again,” I smirk, squeezing her hand. “I know myself. If anyone tries to hurt you, my instinct is to protect, and I won’t ask permission.”
She shakes her head. “I know you well enough to know that to be true.” She smiles.
“I can’t change.” I lean forward. “I’ll try to warn you.” I sit back.
“I appreciate it.”
“I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you for a mate. Yes, you're stunning, sexy, and your scent drives me nuts. I fell in love with the strength of your soul.” I kiss her hand, and she inhales sharply. “I am in awe of your determination, kindness, and loyalty. I will forever be grateful that Heath rescued you. He gave you the family you deserved and a safe place to heal. I am not jealous of your relationship because I know ours is different. He’s your brother. The universe gave him to you for a reason. Fate brought us together, knowing I needed you. I’ve lived in thedark, traveling, never settling. I thought I was happy, or at least satisfied. I didn’t realize what I was missing out on. You walked into the room, and everything I had done in my life prepared me to love you how you deserved.” I watch the tear slide down her cheek. “I can’t describe the magnitude of love accurately that I feel for you.
“Bode tried to take me away from you, but I had faith that he wouldn’t succeed. I was meant for you. The world is a cruel place sometimes, and you have felt more of that than most. My skills have been crafted, so I’m strong enough to give you the safety you have always wanted. I do want us to be a team, and I know you can protect yourself. But I want you to rely on me. I will always support you in every way. I would love to have you work with me. Shade has always been a friend and the voice in my ear when I need him, yet I work alone. I’ve gotten used to being alone.” I exhale. “I don’t want to be alone anymore. We can continue to kill the bad guys. I’ll buy you dozens of masks. It’s necessary, but it turns me on seeing them on you. Seeing you charge through the door, knife gripped in your hand, ready to attack, was epic. You took control and eliminated the threat. I am incredibly proud of you. Not just for that.” I pull her hand until she pressed against me. “You are my life now. I will fight and kill anyone who tries to come between us. I would have marked you the night we met. I didn’t know anything about you, yet I knew you were mine, and I was yours. I felt your pain as if it were mine. We are connected in a way that not many understand or can hope for.
“Will you be mine? Will you love me no matter what obstacles come our way? I will strive to be the best man I can, and earn your love every day. I wake up with my mind filled with you, and I want to go to bed every night with my arms around you. I’ll chase away all your nightmares and fill your dreams with love and hope for the future. I will never leave you or hurt you inany way. I will be your family and give you a house full of kids. We can protect them together so they won’t ever feel the pain you felt. They will know they are loved and that their mom is amazing. I’ll let the family interfere in our lives because I know it comes from nothing but love. I’m sure Mom will move here immediately, but she will heap love on you and be the Mom you wanted.” I kiss her gently and then press my forehead against hers. “Baby, I love you. I will love you until the end of time.”
“I was so lost,” she whispers, closing her eyes. “Pretending I was okay. I wanted to ignore what happened to me, and maybe it would magically go away. Heath saved me. His quiet determination helped me heal in peace. I used fighting to deal with the pain. I thought it would put me back together somehow. I realized that it only pushed memories away for so long. The nights were still filled with nightmares.” She eases back and opens her eyes. “Heath met Juliana, and she received threatening messages. As you can imagine, he was running on rage and the need to protect her. The family stayed at their house while Heath searched for the bad guy. He found me instead.” I grip her hands. “He was strong, but I could have fought harder. He stood over me, and I froze. All I could see were the faces of the men who abused me. They haunted me still, and I knew I needed to deal with them. As much as I believed I had moved on, and reassured others that I did, it was a lie. I shoved it away.” She tightens her fingers. “I found out Heath was killing the men. Do you know what I asked?”
“What, baby?”
“I wanted to know if they regretted it. Isn’t that sad?” She laughs shortly. “Shouldn’t they feel regret?”
“It isn’t sad.” I brush her hair behind her ear. “If they had a soul, they would feel that way.”
“I thought perhaps if they held remorse, I could forgive them.” She shakes her head. “I think of all the women who are abusedevery day, and in every way imaginable. I admire their strength to go on and put a smile on their face. Many continue on, have families, find love, and have fulfilling lives. I feel for the ones who can’t. The ones who live in their nightmare. I didn’t think I was one of them, but I was wrong. It’s been years, so I was expected to be alright. It wasn’t anyone else who set that expectation, but me.” She releases me, pressing her hand to her heart. “Shouldn’t I be okay? They are dead, and I have a good life now. There are people who love me, call me a friend, and like being around me. But what face am I showing them? The person I am or who I wish to be.” She drops her hand. “Does anyone know all the ugly things I had to do to survive? Can they see through the fake smile?
“After I healed from the bad guy beating me up, I didn’t sleep for days,” she says, swallowing hard, and my heart aches. “Does a strong woman do that? I’ve been coping for so long, I didn’t know who I was anymore. Was I the bubbly, smart ass I portray sometimes, or the quiet introvert who plays over and over in my head the movie of the night I was taken all day, every day, reading stories about men who will walk through fire to rescue me wishing it was my life? Perhaps I am the sexy fox who still enjoys dressing up and seeing a man look at me with interest. Is it wrong that part of me wants someone to pamper me and take care of me? Yet, I can get in the ring, face my opponent, and know how to make them bleed, and I enjoy it. Some nights, I would cry in bed and be so mad at myself for feeling so broken.
