“Your home is beautiful,” he says softly.
“Clutter would send me over the edge. For so long, I lived in chaos, so now I need everything in its place. I’m not as bad as I used to be. Yesterday, I couldn't find something to wear, and my clothes were scattered across the floor.” I laugh. “Years ago, I would have had a panic attack.” My mate doesn’t laugh with me, and his grip tightens. “I’m alright now. I value my things. I worked hard to earn them, so I treat them with respect. I’m cautious with money. I don’t spend much. Once I settled here, I didn’t need much cash. My fights supply me with plenty.”
“What happened to your family?” he asks.
“I haven’t spoken to them in ten years.” I exhale slowly. The next part of the story will be difficult, and saying the words out loud to my mate will take some courage. Two people know my story, and it was agony telling them. “We had been living in a new place, and I had just started school. They decided to leave me alone again, except this time, they left for several weeks. I was struggling to fit in at school, which wasn’t new to me, but for some reason, it felt different. Being a shifter teenager was challenging on its own, but when my body was going through changes, I felt like I was coming out of my skin. My fox was angry. I hadn’t let her out in months. Classes were hard sinceI kept starting and stopping. I could never catch up, but the teachers kept moving me on regardless of whether I passed my assignments.
“I met a boy.” I stare out the window, unable to meet Ezra’s gaze. “He was older and told me I was pretty. He bought me food when I said I hadn’t eaten that day. He looked at me like I was worthy of his attention. At that time, I knew nothing about mates. He was human, and I didn’t care. We took walks, and he listened to me. It didn’t matter what the topic was; he cared about my opinion and emotions. I’d never experienced that, and I reveled in his attention. We met in the park and sat for hours. I fell in love.
“My family didn’t know, but I hadn’t seen them for weeks. I told Bobbie all about them, and he was angry on my behalf. That’s when I knew. He was the one. I would be loyal and never leave him. I thought he was handsome, and he made me feel things that I didn’t think I could. Everything was going how I dreamed.” I shift on my seat and cross my arms. “My fox was demanding out, so I found a spot that was secluded, and shifted. I ran through the trees, and I’d never been so happy. I had a boyfriend who loved me, and my animal could be free. I planned to tell him, and I prayed he would react well.”
I lick my lips and close my eyes. “I never got the chance to. I didn’t know that he followed me, and saw me strip and let my animal out. I didn’t question why he was there.” I open my eyes and stare at the food on the table. “He still wanted to be near me, but not in the way I wanted. I shifted back and got dressed, waiting for his judgment. He was sweet and told me he thought it was fascinating. He wanted to drive me back, and we could have a meal. I went with him willingly, but he didn’t take me to a restaurant.
“He told me his friends were having a party, and asked if we could stop there. The party was a lie, as was everything I thoughtI knew about him. My search for love and acceptance led me to an abandoned house full of humans and shifters. They played a game. They took turns finding girls like me, alone, starving, and gullible. My boyfriend turned into a monster who kidnapped me.” Ezra’s claws puncture the table. “I spent a week under their control. Bobbie forced himself on me in front of them. They watched.”
I tip my head back, trying to keep my tears from falling.
“He was possessive, so he didn’t let them touch me sexually. Which I learned was odd, since they had done this before, and they all participated in the torture. Yet, he was alright with his friends chasing me through the house and cutting me with knives to see how fast I would heal. They locked me in a room if they had to leave, and clasped my ankles with chains attached to the wall. I think they thought I was broken, and I wouldn't try to escape. I had a fire inside me, urging me not to give up because it would be so easy. I knew no one would rescue me. My family didn’t care, and I didn’t have friends in town.”
I bow my head and wipe my cheeks. Ezra’s scent is a mixture of rage and sympathy.
“They always left at least one of them in the house at all times to guard me. He had some kind of control over them. They didn’t break his rules, but pushed the boundaries when he wasn’t there. Touches that latest longer, threats, and promises that they would get their turn. On the seventh day, one of the other humans was ordered to guard me, and he didn’t tie me up as the others did. He was the least abusive, as if he was at war with what he knew to be right, and the pressure of his friends. He was grateful to be included in the group, and their opinion held sway.
“The windows were boarded up, and I ripped off three fingernails trying to pry them off. I moved to the door. It was locked, but it wasn’t strong. When I was in the chains, they knew I wouldn’t be able to get to the door. They barely feed me, so Iwas weak, yet I had to find a way out.” I focus on my mate's face. “I broke my foot breaking down the door, but I did it. I knocked the guard out with a piece of wood, and left that house and ran, naked, bleeding, and hobbling. It was hours back to town, and I stole some clothes. I was thankful it was dark. I didn’t go home. There was an alley beside a building. It had several dumpsters big enough to hide behind while I caught my breath. I huddled there, in shock, but alive.
“That is where Heath found me. He rescued me that day. I didn’t know what he was, and I should have been terrified. He was a strange man offering to give me a place to stay. Something was telling me that he was good, that he was powerful enough to fight all my demons, and he did. I took his hand, and he has never hurt me. I had food, shelter, and safety. He didn’t push for answers, and he allowed me to lock my door. I had the control, and I didn’t talk to him for weeks. He left meals at my door, and didn’t pressure me for answers. He became someone I could trust just by giving me space.
"I eventually healed my wounds, but the scars will always remain inside me because nothing could heal my soul. I didn’t want to think about the things I went through. Maybe if I didn’t, I would be normal again, and I could act like it never happened. Heath knew I would break. There is only a certain amount of trauma a body can endure before it snaps. He was there when I did. He got me help and listened in his own way.
“He didn’t treat me as if I were damaged. I knew if I reached out to my family, they would, so I didn’t. I moved on without them. They didn’t look for me, and my life was better without them. Heath eventually taught me how to fight, and it gave me confidence. I have setbacks and moments of panic. My new brother demanded the names of the men who held me captive. I gave him a list. His mission was to find and kill them. He succeeded except for the man I killed. I didn’t tell him his namebecause I wanted to be in a place in my life where I could do it myself.
"I was upset that I couldn’t finish him. I swore I would cut his dick off. He used it to abuse other women and me. Heath discovered what I was doing. I would do anything for him. He gave me a home, and the skills to fight back.” Ezra bows his head, and I put my hand over his. “I don’t want you to treat me differently. It was hell, and I’ve tried to heal. I will always have the memories, but they’ve eased over the years.”
“You are not damaged,” he growls, lifting his head. “I want to kill them myself. Heath has my gratitude and respect. I can feel your pain. I’m glad you didn’t give up, but I wish you hadn’t been there to begin with. Those men are rotting in hell, and I hope they burn for all eternity.”
“At the time, they made me think I did something wrong. I was desperate for love, so maybe I didn’t see the signs. I tried to justify it. If he had asked in any other environment, I would have had sex with him. I blamed myself for a long time,” I whisper, tracing his knuckles, hoping to soothe him.
“Fuck that,” he rasps, retracting his claws. “He used your open heart and loyalty. They are to blame. You did nothing wrong. Did you give them permission?”
“No.” He turns his hand and laces his fingers with mine. “I said no, and I fought like hell.”
“No good man would ignore your denial. He knew you didn’t want it, yet he forced himself on you,” he grits out.
“Now, I know it wasn’t my fault. I have worked hard to change that mindset. I’ve seen the kind of love I want. The family here has shown me more kindness than anyone. Haven is my best friend and has been there for me in ways I still don’t think she understands. I don’t share my life with everyone. Heath and Haven are the only ones who know about my past. Sally has guessed because she knows things.” I tighten my fingers. “I knowthe difference between what he did to me and sharing my body with someone I choose. He didn’t love me. It took a long time to enjoy sex. There are things I will never do. I refuse to be tied up. I’m afraid the nightmares will return. I’ve taken my time with us because this matters. You are different, and I want to have a physical relationship with you. I’m not scared of you,” I say softly. “But of myself.”
“Why?”
“What if I can’t do it? What if I have a panic attack? If something sets off a memory, I would feel horrible.”
“Shit.” He pulls lightly on my hand. “Come here.” I slide back my chair and let him guide me to his lap. He cups my cheek. “Baby, I will never pressure you. Last night was the most erotic night of my life. The most important thing is you and your safety. If something happened in the moment, we would stop, and there is no shame in that. I will never be upset with you because of it.”
“You’re too good to be true.” I lunge forward, wrapping my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.
“Shit, I’m barely holding it together,” he mumbles, cupping the back of my neck. “It’s rare for me to feel rage and show it. I don’t want to scare you because I want to hunt down your parents and kill them.”
“I think you're doing well,” I say.
“Have your parents tried to find you?” he asks, and I turn my head, lying my cheek on his shoulder.
