I love her, but I want to hurt her.
Backing away and standing, I stare at Ezra. He grits his teeth, shifting on the seat, and I glance down. He’s as uncomfortable as I am.
“Rylee,” Haven calls out, and I shake my head.
“I’ll be on the balcony,” he says, standing stiffly, and I bite my lip. “Not funny, mate.”
“What?” I release my lip and widen my eyes. “Just a minute,” I say to Haven.
Ezra narrows his eyes. “You know what.” He turns and walks toward the glass doors. I wait until he walks through them before letting Haven inside.
“Are you okay?” she asks as she enters.
“Yes. Why wouldn’t I be?” I brush my hands down my shirt.
“I called, and you didn’t respond. Then I sent a text.” She walks toward the table.
“I must have left my phone in the bedroom after Heath messaged.” I shut the door.
“Is Ezra here?” she asks, lifting her eyebrows. She knows I don’t let just any man in my home.
“Yes.” I glance toward the balcony. “He’s outside.”
“Really?” she says slowly.
“Yes, really.” I walk to the table and close the lids of the containers. “Why is that so hard to believe?”
“Do you want a list of all the reasons?” she asks, tilting her head.
“No.” I bump my shoulder against hers. “I like him,” I whisper.
“I would hope so.” She leans her hip against the table, turning to face me. “Is he staying with you?”
“He wasn’t.” I exhale and mimic her position. “But I asked him to stay tonight.”
“That’s good.” She frowns. “Isn’t it?”
“Yes. I want him here. I won’t get into details, but his actions have shown me that I can trust him. Staying at the hotel is hard for him.” I pull out the chair and sit.
“And you,” she says softly.
“Yeah,” I whisper, and she pulls a chair close to mine. “I want to be around him all the time.”
“Have you…” She looks across the room. “Talked?”
“I told him just now over breakfast.” I laugh and rub my forehead. “He was eating pancakes, and I told him I was assaulted. Shit, it all came bursting out.”
“I don’t think there is a good time to tell someone that,” she mumbles, pulling my hand away. “It’s a big step for you. I know you don’t share. I’m glad you opened up to him.” She grips my hand.
“He’s been open and honest. I knew it needed to happen, yet I was afraid.” I sigh. “I feel lighter. He took it well, and we were moving on to more pleasant things when you showed up.” I wrinkle my nose. “What did you call it when I interrupted you and Remy?”
“Smushy,” she laughs.
“Yes, he left me smushy and wanting more.” I laugh with her.
“I have news for you…” She leans forward. “You are dreaming if you think he took it well. Nothing bad against you, but I can guarantee there is a storm in his gut. Even though they are dead, he needs to kill someone.”
“There isn’t anybody to kill.”